The wondering wandering Jew

I’m pretty sure that most of us have our own Promised Land that we yearn for.  A land flowing with our own version of milk & honey.   I have actively started searching for what our life will be like once we finish up our time in Cambodia.  With our oldest two kids rapidly approaching their teens I feel the need to provide them with some semblance of a social life.  Something that sadly can’t be done in rural Cambodia. 

Thankfully my husband seems to be on the same page as me when it comes to our future existence.  We both long to be part of a community.  A place where families have the time to be part of each others lives.  Spontaneous meals.  Lots of time wrestling out the questions of life through lively chats.  Kids having access to a whole bunch of ‘aunts & uncles’.   Focusing on the simple things in life and not getting caught up in the ‘get fest’ of consumer society.  On top of that being able to eat local food and growing a lot of it ourselves would be highly sought after bonuses.  Too much to ask for?? 

As it turned out our search began on the 1/1/11.  Not a bad date to begin.   Our Holy Grail began in the hills of  Queensland.  After three days we came away with our heads spinning.  Yes the option of natural living was there...but the communal thing was sadly lacking.  We then had a mini visit to inner city Brisbane where  we wouldn’t have the option of nature...but the communal thing seemed to be thriving.  On top of that there was the whole social justice aspect that our family seems to be drawn to.  Perfect!  The excitement lasted  about 12 hours.  Until I got online to look for real estate and nearly passed out when I saw the current property prices. 

All this highlighted to me that no matter how much we yearn for community...we don’t want it to come at the cost of financial stress either.

So now our search has pretty much been narrowed down to this:

Communal Living (with a social justice twist if possible)

Affordable Living (with a comfortable twist if possible)

Too much to ask for???  

It seems so. 

But what I have to ask myself is this.  Surely there are lots of individuals & families like us?  People who have an intolerance to mainstream affluenza.  People who crave the same ideals that we do.  Thing is, I don’t know where to find them.   I’m tempted to get two massive posters.  Some paint.  Then in big letters “HONK IF YOU CRAVE COMMUNITY.”    Hang that around my neck and see who I can attract. 

In the meantime my Inner Emo is alive and well.  Surfacing throughout the day singing songs of loneliness and longing.

By the rivers of Adelaide I sat down and wept.

My Non-Educational Thoughts on Curriculum

Here's an article I wrote about three or four years ago.  Figured some of you might enjoy it.

I've been a home school mum for over a year now. Something to be proud of, I know. Initially I was happy if I survived a month... then a term... and now with a little bit of hindsight I'm kind of thinking that maybe its not so hard after all. There is one thing in particular though that hangs over my head like a dark cloud.

It's that eternal question that pops up when I least expect it... ‘Which curriculum are you using?’ I know, I know... people just can’t help themselves. It goes hand in hand when mentioning that I home-school. In the same way that children get asked how old they are and mothers of babies are asked ‘is he a good baby?’

In my opinion, the word ‘curriculum’, like other words that have that dreaded ‘rr’ in them, should be removed all together from this planet.
No one would disagree with me that terrorism, hemorrhoids and cardiac arrest are things that we could all do without. So why not get rid of the curriculum concept as well? Just think... it would make homeschooling so much more enticing.

Imagine the education department sending their rep over to your home to make sure that your children were being properly educated. They would make sure that your child was spending most of their day outside in the fresh air. They would then deduct points if they felt that your child’s day looked too similar to the day before. The rep would ‘tsk tsk’ when seeing work that looked repetitive and practically faint when presented with a daily schedule.

In many ways, a curriculum for a home-school family reminds me of a birthing plan for the pregnant couple. It's a fairly standard procedure these days for the doctor or midwife to sit down with the couple and discuss what sort of ideas they have in mind for the impending birth. The options are endless. Water births, epidurals, medical students being present and so on. Reality is though... that once the woman is about five centimeters dilated, the birthing plan - along with the scented candles, whale sounds CD and the massage oils get thrown out the window. The rest of the labour is then able to progress as nature intended. It's a completely acceptable practice to spend ages discussing a birth plan and then having it discarded within moments of that first contraction. Let’s embrace that for the home-schooling family as well. Let's allow the dialogue about curriculum to take place... but once that first cramp happens... let's ditch it and allow nature to take its course.

As much as I’m in awe of families that have their day planned out... as much as I come away from their home with my head hanging in shame, I have to wonder…
How do you design a curriculum that makes room for a spontaneous trip to the beach... that lasts all day... where you just can't pull yourself away from the magical sand castle so you come home after bed time with sand in your hair and exhausted smiles on your faces. A curriculum that then allows the next day to not even start till after ten because everyone needs to stay in bed and recharge.
Or a curriculum that allows for the kids to venture down to the nature reserve at the back of your house. They pack their own lunch and don’t come back for hours. Eventually in the late afternoon they return with stories about waterfalls from the latest downpour, finding blue tongue lizards and catching yabbies with their bare hands.

Or a curriculum that caters to younger siblings who urgently need help to build the biggest Duplo tower ever and then decide that they no longer need morning naps?

For the life of me I just can’t see how a home-school curriculum can in anyway go hand in hand with children who wake up in the morning ready to create, explore and have that zest for life that is so rare these days.

Yes my kids are doing maths most days. Yes they write stuff about their lives or stories that they create. And yes... if I can pull myself away from the endless dirty dishes I try to make a point of correcting their spelling and so on. But to be honest, other than that our days just happen. I figure that they are learning so much from the books they devour, the cubbies they are building, the dance routines they choreograph and the time spent helping in the home.

Their dad gets involved with the occasional science lesson (thankfully I'm not expected to help out in that department) and he is available at dinner times for vital questions about friction and distances in space. We are also blessed with a multi talented friend that teaches the kids anything from fire twirling to crocheting colourful beanies.

I long for the day I can stand tall when asked about my home-school curriculum. When with a straight face and with full confidence I can say, ‘We follow the highly sought after... “spontaneous” approach’.

there goes my facebook life...

so after three years of facebook...ive just voted myself off the island.
not sure if i will regret it or not...but for now...it feels good.
thanks for finding me on here...ive got a feeling that 2011 is going to be an
interesting one.

BELOW ARE THE UPDATES FROM OUR TIME IN CAMBODIA..it will give you an idea of what we have been up to.

Confessions of a western woman

 i dont know about you.   but i find it really hard to belive in things that i cant see.  things like God, love and pelvic floor muscles...they are all pretty much out of my depth. 

not just that...but i also have this thing about letting really important things fade as my domestic duties get in the way.  i can have my heart strings being tugged at by something really profound and be determined to do something about it...but it only takes being stuck in traffic for too long...or my kids kicking up a stink...and before i know it...the moment is gone and my good intentions have pretty much vanished.  much like my pelvic floor muscles come to think of it.

you would think that by living in cambodia i could keep life in perspective. that i could balance my needs with my wants and so on.  that i would turn a blind eye to the things that sparkle or tickle my fancy.  not so. 

this is why when i write about needs  in cambodia i know how hard it is for you to take that moment to really let it sink in and see that there is really a completely different reality out there.  there is a country that is actually not so far away (keeping the universe as our backdrop) – with so so many needs that can actually be solved by not so many people taking part.  as westerners we have pretty much been brainwashed that the problems ‘out there’ are too big.  images of kids with a small bowl of rice...or young women bending over in the rice paddies...get glossed over.  weird thing is...i do the same thing.  despite actually living amongst people who go hungry at night...and pass rice fields with young & old women standing knee high in water – doing back breaking work for 12 hours a day...its STILL hard for me to truly connect to it.

when i tell you about the way you can help out with some pretty amazing things in cambodia...i often feel as if im forcing my experiences and values on to you.  a very loud voice in me tells me to hold back.  to find another way of getting people to help.  that i should let people just get on what they are doing.

if i actually take a moment and look around at the people i know..pretty much everyone i know....give or take a few duds...everyone is busy doing really great stuff.  being available to friends. making earth friendly choices.  making, birthing or raising kids.  trying to keep their marriages together.  technically they are already doing enough.  who am i to suggest that there is actually more that can be done?? 

i think when it boils down to it.  the main thing is this.  since i moved to cambodia ive really really understood that it takes VERY little to make some really big changes over there.  because of an update like this..not long ago i might add...a family who were squatting illegally in a mudpit...now own land and have a proper house.  with their own rainwater tank....and two lights!  there is also a little boy who had such twisted legs that his feet were hitting him in the face and was about to be dumped in an orphanage – who can now WALK and is completely transformed.  he is now a beaming, loving and cheeky boy and his aggression and anger a faded memory.   if i had listened to that loud voice...those things would have never happened. 

so with that in mind.  im again letting you know about something that you can get involved in. 

ive mentioned them before...and i will mention them again.  the family that helped the boy who couldnt walk are called the Hims.  (i  think of them as the Hymns  - since i like to sing their praises (nothing like a bit of christian humour to keep you reading).)

so this family...went from having six kids of their own.  the youngest two being adopted with severe disabilites.  (they went from being unable to even sit up at age three, deaf and could only scream as a way of communicating to two beaming kids who spend their time riding their bikes, running around with the rest of the kids...talking and listening...and even writing their own names.) to helping this twelve year old boy learn to walk after lots of surgery on his legs. 

and now that the word has spread....there are TWELVE more children who come everyday to their home waiting for their ‘miracle cure’.  this miracle cure is of course what we in the west would call ‘physical therapy’.  Essentially similar to the therapy given to stroke victims who have to be taught to use non-functioning limbs again etc… it’s something completely unheard of in rural cambodia.  they spend hours showing the parents what they need to do in order to help their child.  then spend a few hours every day doing all the painful exercises.

i spent about 30 minutes in their home and was absolutely gobsmacked by the devotion and care.   its pretty hard to put into words what its like to see a boy the same age as my son.  crawling around a room with a big grin on his face....and being told that when he arrived 3 months earlier he wasnt able to move at all...and had never shown any signs of being able to communicate.  his parents had been told that he was cursed from a previous life and best thing they could do was put in the back of the house and wait for him to die.   (heart breaking...)

so.  where is all this going you ask.  (and yes i could go on and on about the stories from this place)  since this family is so ridiculously humble...and lets face it...busy beyond words....ive taken it upon myself to spread the word for them.  theyve gone from being a family of six and being busy with their own stuff...to all of a sudden running a thriving therapy place....with absolutely no warning. 

so below is a list of current needs.  the idea is that you read through it...say to yourself...”hey..thats not so hard..i can actually do that”  and then either transfer a bit of money across or buy some of the things that are very much needed and either mail it over to us....or have me bring them back with my very empty suitcases.   if you think that your few coins wont do much.  then think again.  and if you STILL think that your few coins wont do much...then find some friends or workmates...or neighbours...and get them to join in. 

so here is the list...actually...here is the email from jennifer herself...and THEN the abbreviated list....

Anyway, what do we need? Well a tangible thing we need is money to make a large wooden slide for children who can not yet move across the floor on their bellies.  We have a small one, but we need a much bigger one now as we have to twelve year olds, both of whom can neither crawl or army crawl.  We need bungy chords to make a piece of equipment that we call The Spider, which allows children to bounce up and down and do air somersaults to learn balance and coordination.  We could use craft supplies like pony beads, felt or foam shapes, glass beads (for Da as he is gtting quite good at making necklaces and we might try helping him sell some), and any other craft supplies and projects for children age 4-6 to develop hand/eye coordination.  We could use educational toys for 2-5 years that involve alot of hand/ eye coordination for those children with hand problems like our Sara. We could use tiny posterior walkers for toddlers (Tikes) that can fold up. We could also use money to make a little swimming pool as water therapy is great for kids with cerebral palsy.  I will list those things and their estimated supplies:

1. Big wooden slide ($180)

2. 8 Bungy chords (4-5 feet long each, have to be bought in another country

    as I can not find bungy chords here.  I have no idea about the price.)

3.  Craft supplies/projects (13 children) from another country

4.  Educational toys for hand/eye coordination (can come from another country used or can be bought in Phnom Penh...expensive)

5.  Posterior walkers new or used for children age 2-5 (Tykes) (These have to come from another country as there are none in Cambodia or even Thailand.  I bought a cheap one online for $120, but it never arrived in the mail.  Most are 5 to 10 times that price!  Maybe $300-$500)

6.  Swimming Pool $500

so the short list:

1. big wooden slide  - $180
2. 8 bungy chords (4-5feet long each)
3. craft supplies
4. educational toys (best option with this is having me buy them in cambodia since they tend to weigh a lot – so instead of spending your money on shipping...i can use that money to buy whats needed.
5. swimming pool - $500   (what jennifer failed to mention is that the swimming pool is crucial for their therapy since it helps the children warm and loosen their joints before each session.  at the moment they are using heated tea towels for each child which is not just time consuming...but also not very effective.)

with christmas coming up pretty soon...you might want to try to get your workplace or school to buy one of these things instead of the usual gift swap. 

with that my friends...i will slip back into my corner and hope that none of you feel like I’m pestering you.

You should probably know..

its the eve of our australia visit.  in less than 8 hours i will be sitting on a plane with my four kids....hopefully breathing a sigh of relief that everything that needed to get done these last few days..actually got done...and that at least for the next couple of days i wont have to think about too many lists.

we can then reunite as a family with steve waiting at the airport for us...  and the girls can FINALLY stop asking for dad...and stop drawing him pictures with dads and girls crying.  seven weeks is a very long time when you miss your dad.

this visit will be a little bit different from the other ones weve had.  ive purposely cut down on how many events i have  - so that we can spend as much time together as a family as possible.  because when we fly back to cambodia in early november...steve will have to stay on until february to complete his contract...so we really need to make the most of this time. 

at this stage i actually only have two events locked in.  one being a massive one...the big movie night fundraiser on oct 15.   which we are hoping to have lots and lots of people come along to.  then october 23 there is the waldorf spring fair in mt.barker...which if you havent been...is an AMAZING event.

its exciting to have people contacting me lately about wanting to know how they can help....   some wanting to come and volunteer in cambodia...others wanting to know where to send money and others wanting to help by either buying or selling items.   its really fun to be that 'connecting' person and i know that there are so many people out there who are really aching to do something positive in this crazy world...but they dont know where to begin..    being able to point people in the right direction...or help them narrow down their options is something i get a lot out of. 

on a personal note...  after giving a wonderful friend of mine some advice about looking at the pros and cons of what she is doing...(and trust me...she is doing some amazing stuff)....i had a moment of clarity as i was doing the dishes and realised that i needed to listen to my own advice.  what are the pros and cons of my current set up??  i took some time to actually look at the outcomes of what i do...and came to a few realisations. 

at the moment im able to do a lot with just being in cambodia.  being able to highlight different needs...and get enough support from friends to make some positive changes over here.  of course building the house for the young mum is a biggie.  as is starting a preschool in our village.  and helping Da...(more on this later) and so on.   i really didnt expect to be able to be involved in so many things in the short time we have been here.  when i had a moment to really think through everything though...i had to be honest with myself that one of the main reasons we came to cambodia was in fact to spend more time as a family.  to be more available to eachother as husband and wife...and to be more present as parents.  when i look at our current situation i see a dad who is missing out on his family because he is trying to make money so we can pay for what we are doing over here.  and i see a mum who is continually preoccupied with making this sewing project work.  so eventhough we are grateful for the opportunity that steve has to make money as an engineer...and we know that there are good things coming from running a social business.   we are in fact making it really hard for us to be who we want to be as a family.  the kids are missing out on both their mum and their dad.

all this to say that ive decided that im not going to continue with the sewing business after december 1.  that will make it one year since we started...     i will still continue with helping different people or groups that i come across.  i will still spread the word on how people can help....i just wont have 13 ladies in my home sewing.  so from the outside it wont look very different... but the changes will be more internal.  i will still promote things that are happily made in cambodia...just not things that we make ourselves...for example...if we need to raise $2000 for a health clinic....i will then buy some products from some fantastic local places...like 'cambodia knits' or 'CHOK cards' and put them in my online shop with ALL profits going to the health clinic.  its a win win....health clinic gets set up, local places making beautiful things get more sales...and you get to be the proud owner or giver of a happily made product.  of course good old fashioned donations will be welcomed as well...(and our paypal account should be up and running soon to make that easier too).

i hope that makes sense....and if not..please feel free to ask.    and just so you know...the money raised on this trip to oz will be used for paying outstanding expenses from the sewing project...as well as current wages....and then all the extras...and we are hoping there are a lot of extras...will be given to a fantastic little project i want to tell you all about.

some of you will remember me asking for help for a 12 year old boy called Da.  he nearly drowned when he was two years old...and for the past ten years he has been neglected in his home....mainly because there were no specialists who could help Da regain use of his legs.  also because the current belief is that someone with disabilities is in fact cursed from a previous life...and there is nothing that can be done to break that curse.  so...after ten years of physical neglect.  this little boy's leg muscles contracted so much that his legs were so twisted that his feet were now infront of his face.  his behaviour was becoming more and more out of control...in fact..his anger and violent outbursts were getting too much for his parents...who were looking for an orphanage where they could drop him off at.

well.  we heard about Da last new years eve.  a family that live on kampot with six kids were over celebrating...and told us how they had been asked that week to help out.  they were shocked at his condition.  with their two youngest children having severe disabilities when adopted...this family is very familiar with physical challenges...but this one really shocked them.  nothing could really be done for Da though cause his knees were fused and there was no hope for therapy with his legs being as badly twisted and fused as they were.  hearing this story me and my friend sarah were pretty heartbroken.  surely something could be done for Da.  some sort of surgery.  we asked if we could put the word out on facebook and email...and lo and behold...a week later we were contacted by a hospital in Phnom Penh who had a doctor willing and able to perform the surgeries for free.  by the end of january..Da already had a couple of surgeries...and by the end of february...his legs were straight!  thing is...with his legs straight...Da now needed a walker.  one that couldnt be sourced in cambodia...and it was needed quickly while his legs were healing.  this is where steve stepped in and was able to use his engineering brain and design one.  take the drawings to the local metal workshop...and within a couple of days...deliver the walker on the back of the motorbike!   a couple more surgeries were done and then the doctor said that there was  nothing more that could be done for this boy.  his parents were showing very little interest in the improvements in their son...so he was actually invited to come and live with this family while his legs got stronger.  within a couple of months he went from being an angry boy who would attack anyone smaller than him when they got too close - to a bright and bubbly kid who is beaming with happiness. 

well...news spread.  miracles dont  go unnoticed in a country like cambodia...and by april this family with six kids of their own...had TWELVE more kids being brought to their home everyday for a miracle cure!!  mothers would bring their toddlers from an hour away....everyday...just in the hope that something would make their child respond to their touch or show some sign of connecting.   one mother explained that after her healthy little boy had his vaccinations...he stopped communicating..stopped making eye contact...and eventually slipped into his own little world...with his body eventually not being able to respond.  out of desperation she took him to the fortune teller at the market.  hoping that she would have some answers.  the fortune teller took one look at the boy...said that he was paying for sins in his previous life.  that he was cursed and evil...and that he would be dead by the age 20...so they might as well just lock him in the back of the house...and not waste their time or energy on him.  of course the family was shocked to hear this...and ashamed for their son....and with no one else having a better explanation...they followed the advice given. 

fast forward to september  - and as im taking the girls to preschool in a tuk tuk...i see Da WALKING down the road...with only braces on his legs.  massive grin on his face...and little kids running alongside him cheering him on.  i seriously cant believe it...and straight away text sarah to tell her what im seeing.  later that week i ride my bike over to find out whats going on over at the house.  to see for myself.  and sure enough.  im blown away.  their home and office has been converted into a makeshift therapy center.  outside there are people making different equipment that is specifically designed for the different needs of the kids.  of course with no budget to speak of...the equipment looks somewhat whimsical...but it works!! there are parents being instructed on what exercises to do.  kids being held down on mats and forced to have their limbs moving for the first time ever.    big children...dragging themselves across the room trying to reach the blocks or toys scattered around the place.  its so confronting.  so intense.  yet im blown away by whats actually taking place there.  the parents and helpers are obviously really dedicated to the goal of getting these kids to their full potential.  the sessions for each kid is really physically exhausting for everyone involved...and im absolutely gobsmacked at the dedication of these people. 

i walk around...getting some discreet photos....mainly just trying to absorb it all.   convinced that there are so many people who would feel the same way i do...and that i really want to get the message out that there is something truly amazing going on here....and every little bit of help would make such a big difference.  i mean..they really need anything and everything they can get right now.  of course money for helpers...but also money for food...and much needed equipment..and donations of educational toys like duplo and blocks.  mats that dont slide around the floor...padding...towels...  i could go on.  point is...if any of this rings a bell with you...then please let me know and i can give you more details on how to help.  im sure you will hear more about this in the next little while...since im really hoping to get this frustratingly humble family some backing.   by the way..i forgot to mention that the two kids that this family have adopted...have gone from being unable to even sit, speak or hear at age one & three.  to now at age 4 and 7 running around.  riding bicycles...and even writing their names!!  

point is...kids with absolutely ZERO hope here in cambodia...CAN actually have fulfilling lives given the chance.  if you want to help out in some way with this...if you want to organise an event...or get some ideas from me...or donate some money...then let me know and we can go from there.  im actually going to set aside a bank account specifically for this family to make it easier long term. 

so yeah...thats where profits from this trip will go.

now i must get some much needed sleep  - big big day tomorrow. 

ta DA!!!!