so after three years of facebook...ive just voted myself off the island.
not sure if i will regret it or not...but for now...it feels good.
thanks for finding me on here...ive got a feeling that 2011 is going to be an
interesting one.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Confessions of a western woman
i dont know about you. but i find it really hard to belive in things that i cant see. things like God, love and pelvic floor muscles...they are all pretty much out of my depth.
not just that...but i also have this thing about letting really important things fade as my domestic duties get in the way. i can have my heart strings being tugged at by something really profound and be determined to do something about it...but it only takes being stuck in traffic for too long...or my kids kicking up a stink...and before i know it...the moment is gone and my good intentions have pretty much vanished. much like my pelvic floor muscles come to think of it.
you would think that by living in cambodia i could keep life in perspective. that i could balance my needs with my wants and so on. that i would turn a blind eye to the things that sparkle or tickle my fancy. not so.
this is why when i write about needs in cambodia i know how hard it is for you to take that moment to really let it sink in and see that there is really a completely different reality out there. there is a country that is actually not so far away (keeping the universe as our backdrop) – with so so many needs that can actually be solved by not so many people taking part. as westerners we have pretty much been brainwashed that the problems ‘out there’ are too big. images of kids with a small bowl of rice...or young women bending over in the rice paddies...get glossed over. weird thing is...i do the same thing. despite actually living amongst people who go hungry at night...and pass rice fields with young & old women standing knee high in water – doing back breaking work for 12 hours a day...its STILL hard for me to truly connect to it.
when i tell you about the way you can help out with some pretty amazing things in cambodia...i often feel as if im forcing my experiences and values on to you. a very loud voice in me tells me to hold back. to find another way of getting people to help. that i should let people just get on what they are doing.
if i actually take a moment and look around at the people i know..pretty much everyone i know....give or take a few duds...everyone is busy doing really great stuff. being available to friends. making earth friendly choices. making, birthing or raising kids. trying to keep their marriages together. technically they are already doing enough. who am i to suggest that there is actually more that can be done??
i think when it boils down to it. the main thing is this. since i moved to cambodia ive really really understood that it takes VERY little to make some really big changes over there. because of an update like this..not long ago i might add...a family who were squatting illegally in a mudpit...now own land and have a proper house. with their own rainwater tank....and two lights! there is also a little boy who had such twisted legs that his feet were hitting him in the face and was about to be dumped in an orphanage – who can now WALK and is completely transformed. he is now a beaming, loving and cheeky boy and his aggression and anger a faded memory. if i had listened to that loud voice...those things would have never happened.
so with that in mind. im again letting you know about something that you can get involved in.
ive mentioned them before...and i will mention them again. the family that helped the boy who couldnt walk are called the Hims. (i think of them as the Hymns - since i like to sing their praises (nothing like a bit of christian humour to keep you reading).)
so this family...went from having six kids of their own. the youngest two being adopted with severe disabilites. (they went from being unable to even sit up at age three, deaf and could only scream as a way of communicating to two beaming kids who spend their time riding their bikes, running around with the rest of the kids...talking and listening...and even writing their own names.) to helping this twelve year old boy learn to walk after lots of surgery on his legs.
and now that the word has spread....there are TWELVE more children who come everyday to their home waiting for their ‘miracle cure’. this miracle cure is of course what we in the west would call ‘physical therapy’. Essentially similar to the therapy given to stroke victims who have to be taught to use non-functioning limbs again etc… it’s something completely unheard of in rural cambodia. they spend hours showing the parents what they need to do in order to help their child. then spend a few hours every day doing all the painful exercises.
i spent about 30 minutes in their home and was absolutely gobsmacked by the devotion and care. its pretty hard to put into words what its like to see a boy the same age as my son. crawling around a room with a big grin on his face....and being told that when he arrived 3 months earlier he wasnt able to move at all...and had never shown any signs of being able to communicate. his parents had been told that he was cursed from a previous life and best thing they could do was put in the back of the house and wait for him to die. (heart breaking...)
so. where is all this going you ask. (and yes i could go on and on about the stories from this place) since this family is so ridiculously humble...and lets face it...busy beyond words....ive taken it upon myself to spread the word for them. theyve gone from being a family of six and being busy with their own stuff...to all of a sudden running a thriving therapy place....with absolutely no warning.
so below is a list of current needs. the idea is that you read through it...say to yourself...”hey..thats not so hard..i can actually do that” and then either transfer a bit of money across or buy some of the things that are very much needed and either mail it over to us....or have me bring them back with my very empty suitcases. if you think that your few coins wont do much. then think again. and if you STILL think that your few coins wont do much...then find some friends or workmates...or neighbours...and get them to join in.
so here is the list...actually...here is the email from jennifer herself...and THEN the abbreviated list....
Anyway, what do we need? Well a tangible thing we need is money to make a large wooden slide for children who can not yet move across the floor on their bellies. We have a small one, but we need a much bigger one now as we have to twelve year olds, both of whom can neither crawl or army crawl. We need bungy chords to make a piece of equipment that we call The Spider, which allows children to bounce up and down and do air somersaults to learn balance and coordination. We could use craft supplies like pony beads, felt or foam shapes, glass beads (for Da as he is gtting quite good at making necklaces and we might try helping him sell some), and any other craft supplies and projects for children age 4-6 to develop hand/eye coordination. We could use educational toys for 2-5 years that involve alot of hand/ eye coordination for those children with hand problems like our Sara. We could use tiny posterior walkers for toddlers (Tikes) that can fold up. We could also use money to make a little swimming pool as water therapy is great for kids with cerebral palsy. I will list those things and their estimated supplies:
1. Big wooden slide ($180)
2. 8 Bungy chords (4-5 feet long each, have to be bought in another country
as I can not find bungy chords here. I have no idea about the price.)
3. Craft supplies/projects (13 children) from another country
4. Educational toys for hand/eye coordination (can come from another country used or can be bought in Phnom Penh...expensive)
5. Posterior walkers new or used for children age 2-5 (Tykes) (These have to come from another country as there are none in Cambodia or even Thailand. I bought a cheap one online for $120, but it never arrived in the mail. Most are 5 to 10 times that price! Maybe $300-$500)
6. Swimming Pool $500
so the short list:
- big wooden slide - $180
- 8 bungy chords (4-5feet long each)
- craft supplies
- educational toys (best option with this is having me buy them in cambodia since they tend to weigh a lot – so instead of spending your money on shipping...i can use that money to buy whats needed.
- swimming pool - $500 (what jennifer failed to mention is that the swimming pool is crucial for their therapy since it helps the children warm and loosen their joints before each session. at the moment they are using heated tea towels for each child which is not just time consuming...but also not very effective.)
with christmas coming up pretty soon...you might want to try to get your workplace or school to buy one of these things instead of the usual gift swap.
with that my friends...i will slip back into my corner and hope that none of you feel like I’m pestering you.
You should probably know..
its the eve of our australia visit. in less than 8 hours i will be sitting on a plane with my four kids....hopefully breathing a sigh of relief that everything that needed to get done these last few days..actually got done...and that at least for the next couple of days i wont have to think about too many lists.
we can then reunite as a family with steve waiting at the airport for us... and the girls can FINALLY stop asking for dad...and stop drawing him pictures with dads and girls crying. seven weeks is a very long time when you miss your dad.
this visit will be a little bit different from the other ones weve had. ive purposely cut down on how many events i have - so that we can spend as much time together as a family as possible. because when we fly back to cambodia in early november...steve will have to stay on until february to complete his contract...so we really need to make the most of this time.
at this stage i actually only have two events locked in. one being a massive one...the big movie night fundraiser on oct 15. which we are hoping to have lots and lots of people come along to. then october 23 there is the waldorf spring fair in mt.barker...which if you havent been...is an AMAZING event.
its exciting to have people contacting me lately about wanting to know how they can help.... some wanting to come and volunteer in cambodia...others wanting to know where to send money and others wanting to help by either buying or selling items. its really fun to be that 'connecting' person and i know that there are so many people out there who are really aching to do something positive in this crazy world...but they dont know where to begin.. being able to point people in the right direction...or help them narrow down their options is something i get a lot out of.
on a personal note... after giving a wonderful friend of mine some advice about looking at the pros and cons of what she is doing...(and trust me...she is doing some amazing stuff)....i had a moment of clarity as i was doing the dishes and realised that i needed to listen to my own advice. what are the pros and cons of my current set up?? i took some time to actually look at the outcomes of what i do...and came to a few realisations.
at the moment im able to do a lot with just being in cambodia. being able to highlight different needs...and get enough support from friends to make some positive changes over here. of course building the house for the young mum is a biggie. as is starting a preschool in our village. and helping Da...(more on this later) and so on. i really didnt expect to be able to be involved in so many things in the short time we have been here. when i had a moment to really think through everything though...i had to be honest with myself that one of the main reasons we came to cambodia was in fact to spend more time as a family. to be more available to eachother as husband and wife...and to be more present as parents. when i look at our current situation i see a dad who is missing out on his family because he is trying to make money so we can pay for what we are doing over here. and i see a mum who is continually preoccupied with making this sewing project work. so eventhough we are grateful for the opportunity that steve has to make money as an engineer...and we know that there are good things coming from running a social business. we are in fact making it really hard for us to be who we want to be as a family. the kids are missing out on both their mum and their dad.
all this to say that ive decided that im not going to continue with the sewing business after december 1. that will make it one year since we started... i will still continue with helping different people or groups that i come across. i will still spread the word on how people can help....i just wont have 13 ladies in my home sewing. so from the outside it wont look very different... but the changes will be more internal. i will still promote things that are happily made in cambodia...just not things that we make ourselves...for example...if we need to raise $2000 for a health clinic....i will then buy some products from some fantastic local places...like 'cambodia knits' or 'CHOK cards' and put them in my online shop with ALL profits going to the health clinic. its a win win....health clinic gets set up, local places making beautiful things get more sales...and you get to be the proud owner or giver of a happily made product. of course good old fashioned donations will be welcomed as well...(and our paypal account should be up and running soon to make that easier too).
i hope that makes sense....and if not..please feel free to ask. and just so you know...the money raised on this trip to oz will be used for paying outstanding expenses from the sewing project...as well as current wages....and then all the extras...and we are hoping there are a lot of extras...will be given to a fantastic little project i want to tell you all about.
some of you will remember me asking for help for a 12 year old boy called Da. he nearly drowned when he was two years old...and for the past ten years he has been neglected in his home....mainly because there were no specialists who could help Da regain use of his legs. also because the current belief is that someone with disabilities is in fact cursed from a previous life...and there is nothing that can be done to break that curse. so...after ten years of physical neglect. this little boy's leg muscles contracted so much that his legs were so twisted that his feet were now infront of his face. his behaviour was becoming more and more out of control...in fact..his anger and violent outbursts were getting too much for his parents...who were looking for an orphanage where they could drop him off at.
well. we heard about Da last new years eve. a family that live on kampot with six kids were over celebrating...and told us how they had been asked that week to help out. they were shocked at his condition. with their two youngest children having severe disabilities when adopted...this family is very familiar with physical challenges...but this one really shocked them. nothing could really be done for Da though cause his knees were fused and there was no hope for therapy with his legs being as badly twisted and fused as they were. hearing this story me and my friend sarah were pretty heartbroken. surely something could be done for Da. some sort of surgery. we asked if we could put the word out on facebook and email...and lo and behold...a week later we were contacted by a hospital in Phnom Penh who had a doctor willing and able to perform the surgeries for free. by the end of january..Da already had a couple of surgeries...and by the end of february...his legs were straight! thing is...with his legs straight...Da now needed a walker. one that couldnt be sourced in cambodia...and it was needed quickly while his legs were healing. this is where steve stepped in and was able to use his engineering brain and design one. take the drawings to the local metal workshop...and within a couple of days...deliver the walker on the back of the motorbike! a couple more surgeries were done and then the doctor said that there was nothing more that could be done for this boy. his parents were showing very little interest in the improvements in their son...so he was actually invited to come and live with this family while his legs got stronger. within a couple of months he went from being an angry boy who would attack anyone smaller than him when they got too close - to a bright and bubbly kid who is beaming with happiness.
well...news spread. miracles dont go unnoticed in a country like cambodia...and by april this family with six kids of their own...had TWELVE more kids being brought to their home everyday for a miracle cure!! mothers would bring their toddlers from an hour away....everyday...just in the hope that something would make their child respond to their touch or show some sign of connecting. one mother explained that after her healthy little boy had his vaccinations...he stopped communicating..stopped making eye contact...and eventually slipped into his own little world...with his body eventually not being able to respond. out of desperation she took him to the fortune teller at the market. hoping that she would have some answers. the fortune teller took one look at the boy...said that he was paying for sins in his previous life. that he was cursed and evil...and that he would be dead by the age 20...so they might as well just lock him in the back of the house...and not waste their time or energy on him. of course the family was shocked to hear this...and ashamed for their son....and with no one else having a better explanation...they followed the advice given.
fast forward to september - and as im taking the girls to preschool in a tuk tuk...i see Da WALKING down the road...with only braces on his legs. massive grin on his face...and little kids running alongside him cheering him on. i seriously cant believe it...and straight away text sarah to tell her what im seeing. later that week i ride my bike over to find out whats going on over at the house. to see for myself. and sure enough. im blown away. their home and office has been converted into a makeshift therapy center. outside there are people making different equipment that is specifically designed for the different needs of the kids. of course with no budget to speak of...the equipment looks somewhat whimsical...but it works!! there are parents being instructed on what exercises to do. kids being held down on mats and forced to have their limbs moving for the first time ever. big children...dragging themselves across the room trying to reach the blocks or toys scattered around the place. its so confronting. so intense. yet im blown away by whats actually taking place there. the parents and helpers are obviously really dedicated to the goal of getting these kids to their full potential. the sessions for each kid is really physically exhausting for everyone involved...and im absolutely gobsmacked at the dedication of these people.
i walk around...getting some discreet photos....mainly just trying to absorb it all. convinced that there are so many people who would feel the same way i do...and that i really want to get the message out that there is something truly amazing going on here....and every little bit of help would make such a big difference. i mean..they really need anything and everything they can get right now. of course money for helpers...but also money for food...and much needed equipment..and donations of educational toys like duplo and blocks. mats that dont slide around the floor...padding...towels... i could go on. point is...if any of this rings a bell with you...then please let me know and i can give you more details on how to help. im sure you will hear more about this in the next little while...since im really hoping to get this frustratingly humble family some backing. by the way..i forgot to mention that the two kids that this family have adopted...have gone from being unable to even sit, speak or hear at age one & three. to now at age 4 and 7 running around. riding bicycles...and even writing their names!!
point is...kids with absolutely ZERO hope here in cambodia...CAN actually have fulfilling lives given the chance. if you want to help out in some way with this...if you want to organise an event...or get some ideas from me...or donate some money...then let me know and we can go from there. im actually going to set aside a bank account specifically for this family to make it easier long term.
so yeah...thats where profits from this trip will go.
now i must get some much needed sleep - big big day tomorrow.
ta DA!!!!
100 days...and one hundred nights.
tomorrow we are invited to a '100 days ceremony'. white shirt and black pants...and the envelope from the invite with some money in it.
it will be held at a house just down the road from us. well...along the new little muddy road that connects us to the main highway.
its actually in the house that our preschool will be in.
99 days ago a man in our village died. he died because the doctors in the hospital werent satisfied with the bribes given...so they left him without proper care in hospital while they went home for the kings birthday weekend. he died from diabetes. it wouldnt have taken much to have him alive today.
hes left a young wife and a young daughter. im not sure how they are doing. cambodians dont talk about feelings. even when asked its hard to get an answer.
the young widow is called srei-nee. her sister is called Noon.
this week Noon has been receiving training to become our first pre-school teacher. one of our rooms has been transformed into a little classroom during the day. and then bedroom for the instructor at night. weve had quite few people come past and peek their heads in to see whats going on. its pretty exciting really.
our little village called prey-tnaut is going to have a preschool! this means that the little kids aged between 3-5 will be able to come along five mornings a week... and receive some basic teaching....as well as a bowl full of rice porridge with fish and greens. as well as regular medical check ups.
i met with the village chief a week ago to make sure that he was okay with the plan. he listened very patiently. not showing any expression. then explained that when he was a little boy...he didnt have anyone to look after him. he was an orphan. that he had to walk a very long way to get to a school. he is so grateful that the children in his village dont have to do that. what a difference it will make for such poor people to have a place to send their kids to.
we asked Noon if she wanted to be the teacher since she is the only girl we know in our village who has finished year 12. she came to us three weeks ago and asked for a job so that she can go to university on the weekends. its a pretty amazing opportunity for Noon to be able to step into this job so quickly...and she is very sweet and gentle with children which is pretty much our main priority.
whats exciting about this preschool is that we are able to fund it through the little project that neshica and her friend violette set up called 'three jars full'. two ten year old girls wanting to provide empty cambodian preschools with educational toys. well...now we will be able to have a preschool here...which means that we can let people back home know whats going on a lot easier...and also provide more training for the other teachers in our region through our home and local preschool.
another exciting thing to come from this is that i can now create yet another job. a young woman in our village had a baby boy a bit over a month ago and she is having a very hard time. her husband (who she found out after getting married to him....has another wife and child) has gone back to wife number one (at least for now) and she doesnt have enough money to provide food. im going to ask her this weekend if she wants to have the job of making the rice porridge every morning. it would be a really easy job for her. something she could bring her baby with her for. walking distance from her home. and it would mean a small income plus free food. im always on the look out for new jobs so im pretty excited about this latest one.
tomorrows ceremony wont be that different to the funeral itself. the whole village will be there. lots of food. massive loud speakers blaring. and i will sit there with my kids being stared at. feeling so out of place...but yet..very much at home.
the logo which is getting printed on kids tshirts this week.
hopefully we will be able to buy new supplies for all the preschools.
Sarang giving Noon a crash course....
one of the current preschools that weve been able to donate educational toys to.
Phea's brother in law passed away 99 days ago.
here's a house
im finally able to sit down and write some of the latest about this house story that has been unfolding the past three weeks. its hard to do the story justice since it really is something quite amazing...its even harder to write about since not only do i have a three year old throwing a tantrum right now....but also because this story can really only be appreciated to its fullest once seeing this little family in their own home.words are too clumsy.
but let me attempt to explain it all.
last time i wrote srei-nad and her family were staying with us....while their new place was getting built.
i am really happy to let you know that they are now in their new home. a home with a proper roof - waterproof walls - a sturdy wooden floor - safe steps - a cemented area below the house....and most importantly...this house is on a small piece of land that is legally theirs!!! no more squatting. no more living in fear of being evicted!
i went over there yesterday to get some more photos and to check about installing the rain water tank....and you know...its hard to explain it...but this family is just so different now. there is a lightheartedness. as if a weight has been lifted. dont know if its the fact that they dont have to crouch anymore...but i seriously think they stand taller now. we had a huge storm in the early morning...and eventhough it was wet all around....the house was dry...and their little baby was dry!!
whats also exciting is that the young husband is busy with building a chicken coop - one that will be big enough to not just provide them with eggs - but also big enough to raise some chickens to sell at the market.
so the only tweaking that is still happening is the rain water tank getting ordered....and a couple of solar powered lights getting installed...then some pot plants to add that extra touch:)
when school starts again in october - srei net - neshicas little friend has agreed to go along to school...your money will cover a bike and uniform and school supplies. which means that they will have one person of the family with an education...and hopefully a future job.
i just want to end this with saying that a few days ago i popped over again....and i was so thrilled to see srei-nat sitting under her house with her little baby girl....being visited by the other young mum in the village with her little baby boy!!! its incredible that they finally have a place that they are able to have visitors come to and not feel ashamed.
like i said...its all very hard to explain...but i hope the smiles on the faces explain what i cant....
medical emergencies, violence, passion.... and more.
when steve left for australia a couple of weeks ago i
decided that my only option of staying sane was choosing to be grateful about the situation and not to complain about the reality of single motherhood in cambodia. there was such a high risk of me just curling into a foetal position and starting to smoke mosquito coils for escape – that i really needed to make a definate choice about how to approach it all.
youd think that my attitude would earn me some brownie points with the cosmos....that saints who have gone before me would shower me with blessings...or at least some fairy dust. but no. let me warn you...that assumption is incorrect. the showers we have had since steve left have been of the germ variety. initially a nasty gastro bug that i mentioned in a previous post. this gastro bug decided to join us on our travels from siem reap down to phnom penh and even down to our home in kampot. i had high hopes that being home would snap us all back to health and we could all start focusing on saving the world again.
but no, after a whirlwind week of raising enough money to build a waterproof house for one of my sewing ladies (also a previous update) i had to admit defeat in the toilet department and get my two little girls to a doctor in the capital. they were both having high fevers by this stage and i just didnt want to risk another dehydration scenario.
so back we went to phnom penh. me and the four kids. waving goodbye to the ladies...snapping some photos of the now destroyed shack.
after the three hour taxi ride we arrived at the doctors. and this is where the story becomes somewhat hard to believe. BUT...i assure you this is no lie. within 10 seconds of the doctor asking if there is any chance we can provide a stool sample by the next morning...LO AND BEHOLD...my youngest daughter manages to provide him right then and there with the perfect sample. but wait...there is more! her mother...who has superhuman powers...manages to grab a sample jar in the heat of the moment and somehow collect the evidence without a single trace on the outside of the jar. (by far my most proud moment of my 12 years of motherhood.) 40 minutes later we are told that parasites and bacteria have been cohabiting with our youngest daughters...and yes...antibiotics are very much needed.
in the tuk tuk ride to the guest house i decide that instead of going straight back to kampot the next day...we should just hang around a bit and make sure that everyone is kosher. thing is....phnom penh and my kids is a really bad match. there is only so much staring at a screen that my kids can handle without them becoming part demon. so after four days i book the taxi back to kampot to collect us late this morning. its time to leave disney channel where it belongs and head back to our village.
but wait...surely life cant be that straight forward? youre right. its not. because by now i have two girls coughing through the night...this time my ten year old and my four year old. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! not just any old coughing....but that ‘lets see if i can get rid of a vital organ’ type coughing. so off we go to the doctors again. somewhat disappointed that we dont have an aussie doctor. this disappointed lasts about .3 of a second...when i find out that south american doctors are what i have been missing my whole life. so tender and gentle with the girls. saying how they remind him of his own daughter who is now all grown up. somewhat different to dr.australia who managed to hide the fact that he had any previous contact with small humans (and possible any type of human). so dr.south america (all those countries are pretty much the same no?) announces that my two daughters have tonsilitus. groan! i know all about tonsilitus (yet another previous post). he heard me murmur something under my breath and said in his oh so lovely latino accent. “why dont i check the mother as well...just to make sure.” and what do you know? my tonsils are inflamed as well.
so back in the tuk tuk we go. cancelling the taxi trip back. and return to the cel...i mean, room. its at this moment (with disney blaring in the background) that the spirit of earthmamma rises within me (where the hell has she been lately??) and i practically wail to the universe....”these children need some sun. they need a garden. they need some HOME COOKING!!!” the dark guest house room just got that bit darker as i frantically texted friends to see if anyone knew of anyone who might have an empty place for us to crash in for a few days. i had practically just pressed the button as Earthmamma tapped me on my shoulder and in that oh so smug way...reminded me that it is infact moments like these that you drag out your travel insurance policy....dust if off...and ROAR!!!!
lets just say. a few phonecalls later we were back in the tuktuk...on our way to the promised land. i did the mandatory whinge at the front desk of having to pay for an extra ‘free’ breakfast for one of the kids. despite having a very clear voice in my head saying “save your energy....youre not even paying for any of it.”
the hotel is impressive to say the least. carpet!!? a POOL??? and whats this weird thing in the bathroom??? oh kids...thats a blowdryer! they all had to have a turn.
the mood lifted (and by that i mean levi didnt mention death and his little sisters in the same sentence for at least five minutes). we had a swim. we had another blow dry. and then....without any warning about what we were about to encounter....entered the nightly BUFFET!! words cannot explain the wonders that lay before us. it was seriously a classic case of country mouse & city mouse. (only without the cat). we walked around in total awe. surely there was a mistake. surely this meal was for some visiting royal family - and most of their countrymen. platters after platter of beautifully presented seafood, roasts, cheeses, more seafood...and then station after station of international options. lets just say we gave the sushi masters a workout! so fascinating to see how different nations can make such diverse and inspiring food. (hmmm...maybe the U.S, australia and england get to have their own special night to display their creations) i think we actually spent more time talking about how crazy it was than actually eating. levi and neshica doing a running commentary on presentation, taste and texture. (guess who got hooked on Masterchef while in australia?)
we got back to our room. (no kids...you dont need to blow dry your hair again.) ocea entered some altered state and just couldnt stop laughing. she laughed and laughed and laughed until she finally wrapped herself in her blanket and conked out. (i swear someone is going to make a fortune on her one day. get your kid started on psychological research now and they will lack for nothing i tell you!!)
the rest of us got ready for bed. but it took ages for anyone to fall asleep since Time was coughing worse than a first time smoker. on and on it went. the coughing eventually settling somewhat but then this otrocious noise coming out of her instead. levi gave me one of his looks. and i called the doctor. ive looked after kids with breathing problems enough to know that you dont mess with this stuff. oxygen is good. struggling for air is not. (if you happen to be married to me - please reread that last bit a few times).
poor levi was left in charge. (only hours after telling me he has a very small comfort zone). thankfully he chose to be brave and i wrapped Time in her beloved blanket and headed off meet the tuktuk driver the front desk had organised for me. not only is Time quite cold in the face, but her heart is beating really rapidly. thankfully the streets are almost free of any traffic so we can ride without any interuptions. not sure if you had one of those puzzles as a kid. showing a city scene during the day. and then the same city scene at night. i used to love that. the nightwalker on the roof was always my favorite. well, phnom penh is equally fascinating. same roads and buildings. but a whole different world. by now Time is awake and taking it all in. it looks beautiful. so many lights. sadly also so many red lights. businesses that look neutral in daylight... now satisfy their night customers under the glow of red lights. i think of the young girls inside. and wrap my daughters blanket that little bit tighter around her.
the tuktuk stops. were at the river. were at the RIVER??? excuse me driver!! why do you stop?? and why are we at the river?? oh lady. you call doctor. you ask him where to go. WHAT???? you DONT know where the clinic is????????? i know. you ask doctor. oh man. if i could only describe the rage right now. this driver who has been asked by the hotel to take their guest and her sick daughter to the clinic....AFTER saying he of course knows where it is....now is at the riverside wanting me to call the doctor for directions!!! in my white rage i spot a western man stopping to watch this scene unfold. western woman. sick daughter wrapped in blanket in her arms. in a tuktuk. at midnight. on the riverside. with a tuktuk driver wearing the most blank face you could possibly produce under the circumstances. i yell the only thing i can possibly muster up in khmer. “OT LAO” which is: “no good” – (i told you my year in cambodia hasnt taken me far down the linguistic path) i there and then promise myself i will book into khmer classes asap. Cambodian Swear Words 101!! oh if i could only say the words i want to say! instead i swoop out of the tuktuk. the blanket like a mantle in the air. western man still watching it all. a intuitive passing tuktuk driver slows down and maneuvers his chariot right behind fuckface’s tuktuk. at this point i dont even care about the clinic. i just want to get away from the scene before i do some serious damage to a very blank face. i then hear the words. “you no pay me lady”. so i roar with all my might. “I PAY YOU NOOOOOTHING!!!” which my new driver thankfully interprets as “get my daughter to the doctor right now!!!” the western man gives me a humoured look before walking off (lets assume his midnight riverside visit had nothing to do with red lights)...and im trying to think happy thoughts and tap into the Tree of Life.
we arrive at the doctors and im just about to step out of the tuktuk when lo and behold, who should hit the breaks!!? blankety blank face himself! you no give me money lady. you give money now. part of me wonders if he will get violent. part of me hopes he will get violent.. the Tree of Life hasnt quite kicked in yet and i am still very happy to do some serious damage to this guy. i mean really. its such a common thing. tuktuk drivers saying they know a location. then driving around 5km an hour hoping you will point them in the right direction. thats annoying when on your way to an event. and even more annoying when you have four kids with you on your way to an event. but to the doctor? at midnight? with a sick little girl???? i carry Time through the entrance and like a true colonial woman beseech the night guard to get rid of him. (no, not like that. i know Israeli , but im talking about getting him to leave.... i just dont want him waiting when i hopefully carry my daughter back out the doors a bit later).
my latino doctor (i wish there was a medical title that started with L) doesnt seem to mind in the slightest that he has been called in at midnight. he examines Time (and this is where everyone who is a parent knows what happens next) and sure enough. not ONE cough the whole 3 minutes. not one! thankfully he takes my word for it all. checks some more things. (shes fine). can see that she is paler than earlier though. that she has dark circles under her eyes. and then puts her on the nebuliser (or cloud machine as i have been known to call it) for twenty minutes. i try to do some deep breathing myself. the night nurse who by the way couldnt be lovlier is impressed by how fantastic Time is being. we chat for a bit. shes been a nurse for ten years. she earns $350 a month. “i know this sounds a lot to you miss but i work very much.” ummm. no. that doesnt. okay so yes. teachers make $40 a month. but no. that still sounds very little to me. we talk some more. she has a brother in australia. in melbourne in fact. maybe i know him. “maybe you know Crystal Palace?.....for weddings and parties”
and with that Time is finished with her visit to the doctor. she explained to me how she knows everything about this. checked the mask once she finished with it and inspected how it connected to the hose. “oh now i understand this bit”. i assume her other hospital visits that have been with engineer dad involved quite a bit of mechanical observations.
we paid yet another medical bill. got to the tuktuk (thankfully singular). were told that tuk face will come and get his money at hotel. (great. just what i need in my life. more drama). and head back to the rest of the clan. as we ride through the empty streets i see yet another red lit doorway. a young woman with high heels walks out. i dont notice anything else besides her tshirt. it says...and how i wish every young woman in her predicament would wear one of these shirts...”SHE LOVES ME NOT” brilliant. simply brilliant.
so after a big day. here i am. in our room. Time next to me in bed. coughing.
decided that my only option of staying sane was choosing to be grateful about the situation and not to complain about the reality of single motherhood in cambodia. there was such a high risk of me just curling into a foetal position and starting to smoke mosquito coils for escape – that i really needed to make a definate choice about how to approach it all.
youd think that my attitude would earn me some brownie points with the cosmos....that saints who have gone before me would shower me with blessings...or at least some fairy dust. but no. let me warn you...that assumption is incorrect. the showers we have had since steve left have been of the germ variety. initially a nasty gastro bug that i mentioned in a previous post. this gastro bug decided to join us on our travels from siem reap down to phnom penh and even down to our home in kampot. i had high hopes that being home would snap us all back to health and we could all start focusing on saving the world again.
but no, after a whirlwind week of raising enough money to build a waterproof house for one of my sewing ladies (also a previous update) i had to admit defeat in the toilet department and get my two little girls to a doctor in the capital. they were both having high fevers by this stage and i just didnt want to risk another dehydration scenario.
so back we went to phnom penh. me and the four kids. waving goodbye to the ladies...snapping some photos of the now destroyed shack.
after the three hour taxi ride we arrived at the doctors. and this is where the story becomes somewhat hard to believe. BUT...i assure you this is no lie. within 10 seconds of the doctor asking if there is any chance we can provide a stool sample by the next morning...LO AND BEHOLD...my youngest daughter manages to provide him right then and there with the perfect sample. but wait...there is more! her mother...who has superhuman powers...manages to grab a sample jar in the heat of the moment and somehow collect the evidence without a single trace on the outside of the jar. (by far my most proud moment of my 12 years of motherhood.) 40 minutes later we are told that parasites and bacteria have been cohabiting with our youngest daughters...and yes...antibiotics are very much needed.
in the tuk tuk ride to the guest house i decide that instead of going straight back to kampot the next day...we should just hang around a bit and make sure that everyone is kosher. thing is....phnom penh and my kids is a really bad match. there is only so much staring at a screen that my kids can handle without them becoming part demon. so after four days i book the taxi back to kampot to collect us late this morning. its time to leave disney channel where it belongs and head back to our village.
but wait...surely life cant be that straight forward? youre right. its not. because by now i have two girls coughing through the night...this time my ten year old and my four year old. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! not just any old coughing....but that ‘lets see if i can get rid of a vital organ’ type coughing. so off we go to the doctors again. somewhat disappointed that we dont have an aussie doctor. this disappointed lasts about .3 of a second...when i find out that south american doctors are what i have been missing my whole life. so tender and gentle with the girls. saying how they remind him of his own daughter who is now all grown up. somewhat different to dr.australia who managed to hide the fact that he had any previous contact with small humans (and possible any type of human). so dr.south america (all those countries are pretty much the same no?) announces that my two daughters have tonsilitus. groan! i know all about tonsilitus (yet another previous post). he heard me murmur something under my breath and said in his oh so lovely latino accent. “why dont i check the mother as well...just to make sure.” and what do you know? my tonsils are inflamed as well.
so back in the tuk tuk we go. cancelling the taxi trip back. and return to the cel...i mean, room. its at this moment (with disney blaring in the background) that the spirit of earthmamma rises within me (where the hell has she been lately??) and i practically wail to the universe....”these children need some sun. they need a garden. they need some HOME COOKING!!!” the dark guest house room just got that bit darker as i frantically texted friends to see if anyone knew of anyone who might have an empty place for us to crash in for a few days. i had practically just pressed the button as Earthmamma tapped me on my shoulder and in that oh so smug way...reminded me that it is infact moments like these that you drag out your travel insurance policy....dust if off...and ROAR!!!!
lets just say. a few phonecalls later we were back in the tuktuk...on our way to the promised land. i did the mandatory whinge at the front desk of having to pay for an extra ‘free’ breakfast for one of the kids. despite having a very clear voice in my head saying “save your energy....youre not even paying for any of it.”
the hotel is impressive to say the least. carpet!!? a POOL??? and whats this weird thing in the bathroom??? oh kids...thats a blowdryer! they all had to have a turn.
the mood lifted (and by that i mean levi didnt mention death and his little sisters in the same sentence for at least five minutes). we had a swim. we had another blow dry. and then....without any warning about what we were about to encounter....entered the nightly BUFFET!! words cannot explain the wonders that lay before us. it was seriously a classic case of country mouse & city mouse. (only without the cat). we walked around in total awe. surely there was a mistake. surely this meal was for some visiting royal family - and most of their countrymen. platters after platter of beautifully presented seafood, roasts, cheeses, more seafood...and then station after station of international options. lets just say we gave the sushi masters a workout! so fascinating to see how different nations can make such diverse and inspiring food. (hmmm...maybe the U.S, australia and england get to have their own special night to display their creations) i think we actually spent more time talking about how crazy it was than actually eating. levi and neshica doing a running commentary on presentation, taste and texture. (guess who got hooked on Masterchef while in australia?)
we got back to our room. (no kids...you dont need to blow dry your hair again.) ocea entered some altered state and just couldnt stop laughing. she laughed and laughed and laughed until she finally wrapped herself in her blanket and conked out. (i swear someone is going to make a fortune on her one day. get your kid started on psychological research now and they will lack for nothing i tell you!!)
the rest of us got ready for bed. but it took ages for anyone to fall asleep since Time was coughing worse than a first time smoker. on and on it went. the coughing eventually settling somewhat but then this otrocious noise coming out of her instead. levi gave me one of his looks. and i called the doctor. ive looked after kids with breathing problems enough to know that you dont mess with this stuff. oxygen is good. struggling for air is not. (if you happen to be married to me - please reread that last bit a few times).
poor levi was left in charge. (only hours after telling me he has a very small comfort zone). thankfully he chose to be brave and i wrapped Time in her beloved blanket and headed off meet the tuktuk driver the front desk had organised for me. not only is Time quite cold in the face, but her heart is beating really rapidly. thankfully the streets are almost free of any traffic so we can ride without any interuptions. not sure if you had one of those puzzles as a kid. showing a city scene during the day. and then the same city scene at night. i used to love that. the nightwalker on the roof was always my favorite. well, phnom penh is equally fascinating. same roads and buildings. but a whole different world. by now Time is awake and taking it all in. it looks beautiful. so many lights. sadly also so many red lights. businesses that look neutral in daylight... now satisfy their night customers under the glow of red lights. i think of the young girls inside. and wrap my daughters blanket that little bit tighter around her.
the tuktuk stops. were at the river. were at the RIVER??? excuse me driver!! why do you stop?? and why are we at the river?? oh lady. you call doctor. you ask him where to go. WHAT???? you DONT know where the clinic is????????? i know. you ask doctor. oh man. if i could only describe the rage right now. this driver who has been asked by the hotel to take their guest and her sick daughter to the clinic....AFTER saying he of course knows where it is....now is at the riverside wanting me to call the doctor for directions!!! in my white rage i spot a western man stopping to watch this scene unfold. western woman. sick daughter wrapped in blanket in her arms. in a tuktuk. at midnight. on the riverside. with a tuktuk driver wearing the most blank face you could possibly produce under the circumstances. i yell the only thing i can possibly muster up in khmer. “OT LAO” which is: “no good” – (i told you my year in cambodia hasnt taken me far down the linguistic path) i there and then promise myself i will book into khmer classes asap. Cambodian Swear Words 101!! oh if i could only say the words i want to say! instead i swoop out of the tuktuk. the blanket like a mantle in the air. western man still watching it all. a intuitive passing tuktuk driver slows down and maneuvers his chariot right behind fuckface’s tuktuk. at this point i dont even care about the clinic. i just want to get away from the scene before i do some serious damage to a very blank face. i then hear the words. “you no pay me lady”. so i roar with all my might. “I PAY YOU NOOOOOTHING!!!” which my new driver thankfully interprets as “get my daughter to the doctor right now!!!” the western man gives me a humoured look before walking off (lets assume his midnight riverside visit had nothing to do with red lights)...and im trying to think happy thoughts and tap into the Tree of Life.
we arrive at the doctors and im just about to step out of the tuktuk when lo and behold, who should hit the breaks!!? blankety blank face himself! you no give me money lady. you give money now. part of me wonders if he will get violent. part of me hopes he will get violent.. the Tree of Life hasnt quite kicked in yet and i am still very happy to do some serious damage to this guy. i mean really. its such a common thing. tuktuk drivers saying they know a location. then driving around 5km an hour hoping you will point them in the right direction. thats annoying when on your way to an event. and even more annoying when you have four kids with you on your way to an event. but to the doctor? at midnight? with a sick little girl???? i carry Time through the entrance and like a true colonial woman beseech the night guard to get rid of him. (no, not like that. i know Israeli , but im talking about getting him to leave.... i just dont want him waiting when i hopefully carry my daughter back out the doors a bit later).
my latino doctor (i wish there was a medical title that started with L) doesnt seem to mind in the slightest that he has been called in at midnight. he examines Time (and this is where everyone who is a parent knows what happens next) and sure enough. not ONE cough the whole 3 minutes. not one! thankfully he takes my word for it all. checks some more things. (shes fine). can see that she is paler than earlier though. that she has dark circles under her eyes. and then puts her on the nebuliser (or cloud machine as i have been known to call it) for twenty minutes. i try to do some deep breathing myself. the night nurse who by the way couldnt be lovlier is impressed by how fantastic Time is being. we chat for a bit. shes been a nurse for ten years. she earns $350 a month. “i know this sounds a lot to you miss but i work very much.” ummm. no. that doesnt. okay so yes. teachers make $40 a month. but no. that still sounds very little to me. we talk some more. she has a brother in australia. in melbourne in fact. maybe i know him. “maybe you know Crystal Palace?.....for weddings and parties”
and with that Time is finished with her visit to the doctor. she explained to me how she knows everything about this. checked the mask once she finished with it and inspected how it connected to the hose. “oh now i understand this bit”. i assume her other hospital visits that have been with engineer dad involved quite a bit of mechanical observations.
we paid yet another medical bill. got to the tuktuk (thankfully singular). were told that tuk face will come and get his money at hotel. (great. just what i need in my life. more drama). and head back to the rest of the clan. as we ride through the empty streets i see yet another red lit doorway. a young woman with high heels walks out. i dont notice anything else besides her tshirt. it says...and how i wish every young woman in her predicament would wear one of these shirts...”SHE LOVES ME NOT” brilliant. simply brilliant.
so after a big day. here i am. in our room. Time next to me in bed. coughing.
the Have-Nots part 2. or Kick them when they're down.
here is a summary of part 1...then a little insight into the shit that goes on in cambodia when you are poor.
so one of my embroidery ladies, srei-nad (aged 19) just had her first baby a week ago. she lives in the most basic shack you could possibly imagine. after some massive rain a couple of days ago...i borrowed an umbrella and went to check on her and baby. sure enough...they were both wet. infact...nothing was dry so little Warrin was wrapped in a wet towel! ive been trying to help this family for a while now...but this really tipped me over the edge...so i put the word out on facebook for people to chip in so we could maybe raise $500 to fix up the place.
well...
the response was amazing. within a couple of hours of putting the word out there i had so many people who were wanting to help out. my faith in humanity was restored....and i got busy organising building supplies and so on. that evening...im losing track of time..but i think it was two nights ago now..so maybe tuesday night...srei-nad and her little family (husband, younger sister, mum and newborn baby) rocked up at our doorstep. miracle of miracles they had accepted my invite to come and sleep with us while the rain continued. so i quickly made a room available for them. they were very embarrassed by all the fuss. like a mattress. and a sheet. and a pillow for each person. a first for them. also a first to have electricity. and a shower. (those of you who've had a baby try to imagine those first few days without a shower.) anyways. everyone was dry and happy....and house improvements were scheduled to begin the next afternoon. yes. yesterday that was.
so yesterday (im back on track now)..i headed down the road to take some photos of the building. sure enough...the building supplies are all there. but nothing else is going on. to make a long story short. word had very quickly spread about the home improvements...and the owners of the land had found out about the plans. and in true rich vs. poor style...they flatly refused for any work to be done. they have been wanting to get rid of the family since buying the land a while ago...and had no desires for these squatters to improve their situation. so...what this little family have been dreading...and avoiding for so long finally came true. they got evicted!!! it was bound to happen at some stage...especially with the road getting widened soon...BUT STILL!! a family got evicted because of me trying to help them out!! hard to explain my feelings as im standing there in the glaring sun. with a three year old who is whining about her sore tummy (more about that later). and my son who was all ready to help fix the house... i had to think of something. and i had to think of something quickly. and of course my phone credit had run out so i couldnt contact steve and ask him what he thought. in fact..i couldnt contact anyone!! so to make a long story short. i invited everyone to come and sit down on our front steps. i explained that the best thing would be to find some land that we could buy. this way they would not have to live in fear anymore . it would also mean that we could out in some long term things...like a drop toilet!! and maybe some running water!! what i proposed to them was that we would pay for the land....and then they can pay back - interest free - $10 a month until its paid off. this way they can feel a real sense of ownership...and the house would be in srei-nads name since she is the one earning the money. this would also mean that once the money is paid off we could help someone else in a similar predicament. they seemed really pleased with that. the house itself would be a gift though. nothing would be paid back for that.
so off young hubby and builder went to look at a piece of land close by. (and in the meantime both my daughters are now complaining of tummy aches and heads hurting. not to mention sewing ladies needing more fabric.) a little while later im told that some land has been found. its a small piece of land but definately enough for this family. i let out a sigh of relief when i hear that its going to cost $300. this widowed woman with her three daughters and now a grand daughter will no longer be squatters...and live illegally... but instead have a small plot of land of their own that they can do improvements on as they earn some more money through the embroidery. to be honest the biggest thing in my mind is that they will have a toilet instead of bushes...and that their morning wash wont be such a public event.
so last night my four year old daughter had a super high fever...and since things havent been good for a while now with both the little girls i realised that i would have to head off to phnom penh (three hours away) to get them to a proper doctor. never a dull moment i tell you. on my quick rush into town to find an ATM i pass srei-nads shack....only its not there anymore!! they had already torn the place down!! so what was yesterday a shack in a muddy puddle. is now just a pile of scrap metal and palm branches in an even muddier puddle!! i so hadnt expected that!! (im just grateful that it wasnt set on fire which seems to be the most popular way to get rid of squatters.
so here i am in phnom penh. with two girls who are pleading to go back to australia to see their dad. both of them with parasites and some weird bacterical thing. our house in kampot is being looked after by a family who still cook their food over a fire every night and who havent mustered up enough courage yet to use the shower.
im still getting messages from friends around the world who are wanting to help out. even with the extra expense of the land - we are going to have enough money to get this family looked after. in fact there will be enough money to buy a bike for 13 year old srei-net so she can start school in september. im even mulling over a small little enterprise to kickstart for Wat. (thats the widowed grandmother...whos a very old 41 year old.) if you have any ideas of what would be good for her let me know. in the three hours it took me to get to phnom penh i could only come up with one idea and its somewhat outrageous...so im happy to get some input.
with that my friends...im needing to sign off. its been a big...week. in fact...in a couple of days its a year since we came to cambodia. so yeah..its been a big year. it has been so heartwarming (sounds lame but its the best word i have for it) to see how many people have chosen to send money in for this little family. i know many of you are still trying to spread the word around...and let me just say..your money will go a long way over here. after a few weeks of feeling really discouraged about what im trying to do over here..its been very grounding to know that there are a lot of you out there that actually 'get it'. so for that...thank you!!
so one of my embroidery ladies, srei-nad (aged 19) just had her first baby a week ago. she lives in the most basic shack you could possibly imagine. after some massive rain a couple of days ago...i borrowed an umbrella and went to check on her and baby. sure enough...they were both wet. infact...nothing was dry so little Warrin was wrapped in a wet towel! ive been trying to help this family for a while now...but this really tipped me over the edge...so i put the word out on facebook for people to chip in so we could maybe raise $500 to fix up the place.
well...
the response was amazing. within a couple of hours of putting the word out there i had so many people who were wanting to help out. my faith in humanity was restored....and i got busy organising building supplies and so on. that evening...im losing track of time..but i think it was two nights ago now..so maybe tuesday night...srei-nad and her little family (husband, younger sister, mum and newborn baby) rocked up at our doorstep. miracle of miracles they had accepted my invite to come and sleep with us while the rain continued. so i quickly made a room available for them. they were very embarrassed by all the fuss. like a mattress. and a sheet. and a pillow for each person. a first for them. also a first to have electricity. and a shower. (those of you who've had a baby try to imagine those first few days without a shower.) anyways. everyone was dry and happy....and house improvements were scheduled to begin the next afternoon. yes. yesterday that was.
so yesterday (im back on track now)..i headed down the road to take some photos of the building. sure enough...the building supplies are all there. but nothing else is going on. to make a long story short. word had very quickly spread about the home improvements...and the owners of the land had found out about the plans. and in true rich vs. poor style...they flatly refused for any work to be done. they have been wanting to get rid of the family since buying the land a while ago...and had no desires for these squatters to improve their situation. so...what this little family have been dreading...and avoiding for so long finally came true. they got evicted!!! it was bound to happen at some stage...especially with the road getting widened soon...BUT STILL!! a family got evicted because of me trying to help them out!! hard to explain my feelings as im standing there in the glaring sun. with a three year old who is whining about her sore tummy (more about that later). and my son who was all ready to help fix the house... i had to think of something. and i had to think of something quickly. and of course my phone credit had run out so i couldnt contact steve and ask him what he thought. in fact..i couldnt contact anyone!! so to make a long story short. i invited everyone to come and sit down on our front steps. i explained that the best thing would be to find some land that we could buy. this way they would not have to live in fear anymore . it would also mean that we could out in some long term things...like a drop toilet!! and maybe some running water!! what i proposed to them was that we would pay for the land....and then they can pay back - interest free - $10 a month until its paid off. this way they can feel a real sense of ownership...and the house would be in srei-nads name since she is the one earning the money. this would also mean that once the money is paid off we could help someone else in a similar predicament. they seemed really pleased with that. the house itself would be a gift though. nothing would be paid back for that.
so off young hubby and builder went to look at a piece of land close by. (and in the meantime both my daughters are now complaining of tummy aches and heads hurting. not to mention sewing ladies needing more fabric.) a little while later im told that some land has been found. its a small piece of land but definately enough for this family. i let out a sigh of relief when i hear that its going to cost $300. this widowed woman with her three daughters and now a grand daughter will no longer be squatters...and live illegally... but instead have a small plot of land of their own that they can do improvements on as they earn some more money through the embroidery. to be honest the biggest thing in my mind is that they will have a toilet instead of bushes...and that their morning wash wont be such a public event.
so last night my four year old daughter had a super high fever...and since things havent been good for a while now with both the little girls i realised that i would have to head off to phnom penh (three hours away) to get them to a proper doctor. never a dull moment i tell you. on my quick rush into town to find an ATM i pass srei-nads shack....only its not there anymore!! they had already torn the place down!! so what was yesterday a shack in a muddy puddle. is now just a pile of scrap metal and palm branches in an even muddier puddle!! i so hadnt expected that!! (im just grateful that it wasnt set on fire which seems to be the most popular way to get rid of squatters.
so here i am in phnom penh. with two girls who are pleading to go back to australia to see their dad. both of them with parasites and some weird bacterical thing. our house in kampot is being looked after by a family who still cook their food over a fire every night and who havent mustered up enough courage yet to use the shower.
im still getting messages from friends around the world who are wanting to help out. even with the extra expense of the land - we are going to have enough money to get this family looked after. in fact there will be enough money to buy a bike for 13 year old srei-net so she can start school in september. im even mulling over a small little enterprise to kickstart for Wat. (thats the widowed grandmother...whos a very old 41 year old.) if you have any ideas of what would be good for her let me know. in the three hours it took me to get to phnom penh i could only come up with one idea and its somewhat outrageous...so im happy to get some input.
with that my friends...im needing to sign off. its been a big...week. in fact...in a couple of days its a year since we came to cambodia. so yeah..its been a big year. it has been so heartwarming (sounds lame but its the best word i have for it) to see how many people have chosen to send money in for this little family. i know many of you are still trying to spread the word around...and let me just say..your money will go a long way over here. after a few weeks of feeling really discouraged about what im trying to do over here..its been very grounding to know that there are a lot of you out there that actually 'get it'. so for that...thank you!!
the Have-Nots
the Have-Nots
so let me warn you that this will end with me asking if you can help out with some money. not a lot of money. but $20 or so.
as most of you know, i have a room full of women sewing and embroidering in my home. srei-nad is one of those young women. she is 19. married...and just had her first baby. its hard to explain her level of poverty...but lets just say that even by cambodian standards its low.
she lives in a little hut. you might have seen a photo of it on my blog. i will try to get some photos on here once the planets align. anyways...this hut is a mishmash of rusted tin and palm leaves with a bamboo floor that tests your faith to the limit.
anyways..i could go on. but i wanted to let you guys know that this morning we had an incredible amount of rain. i stole an umbrella from one of the sewing ladies and headed down to the road to check on srei-nad and baby. and sure enough. they were wet! really wet. its no wonder since there are massive gaps between almost all the bits and pieces that are stuck to the shack.
ive asked them before about moving into another place...but they are worried that someone will take their home. BUT...miracle of miracles...today they did say that they would like to have their house fixed a bit if that was an option.
so. im thinking that if we are going to do this we might as well do it properly. a floor that is intact. some walls that dont have gaping holes. i would love love love to figure out some sort of toilet if possible since at the moment they have to climb down a ladder..and then go through a a deep puddle to get to some bushed... and maybe some sort of chimney to let the smoke out from the fire they have their pot on. (yes, its beyond basic).
so all this would probably cost about $500. a fortune here. not so much for a bunch of facebook friends. especially if those facebook friends ask their facebook friends as well.
so. i know this would be more effective if i had some photos...and yes..im getting there...but can you please have a think about helping out with this one... obviously we will go ahead even if we dont get people helping out...but it would be really great to share the load a bit.
so yeah...thats about it. you might not realise..but yes..i hate asking for money. but i just need to get over that...and hope you dont mind being asked.
God, monkeys & princesses
this is our last night in siem reap. we came up for a visit over a week ago. wanting to explore the temples of anchor wat while grandma was visiting from sweden. of course only seven of us didnt seem quite right...so we invited Any and her two sisters, Srei-deap and Srei-dut. And of course Srei-Net had to come as well since we practically dont leave our house without her.
weve had a good time up here. its a very different feel to where we live. in fact, a whole different dimension of cambodia that we arent used to. the city swarms with tourists. the guest houses dont really need to do much in order to get many visitors. and lo and behold there is actually a night life. its been fun to do novelty touristy things – and having people trying to figure out how we all fit together. one suggestion was that we are a very nice family who have adopted four cambodian orphans. another that we have four cambodian servants.
after six days of playing tourists, grandma had to head back to sweden....and steve had to head back to australia to earn some much needed money so that we can keep doing what we are doing over here. he’s committed to a six month contract as an engineer for Holden car company in adelaide. i decided that i wasnt ready to face Kampot yet minus steve...and wanted to spend a few more days in Siem Reap. so Any and her little gang headed off on a bus at the same time as steve...and we moved into a different guest house so we could be closer to some new friends. i think the bugs waited about 20min after everyone left on the bus and then decided to show their ugly little faces. in the few days in cambodia as a single mum my kids have had a long list of ailments that i wont bore you with – but lets just say that i need to buy quite a few more undies for the kids...and stock up on pain killers.
thing is...with all this stuff....as in...the parenting and looking after kids stuff....i really just cant get over how absolutely spoiled we are. ive been thinking about this for a while now. been trying to get my thoughts out so that i can make some sense of it all. this crazy reality of some of us having way too much while others dont even have the basics. how with a little bit of perspective we would see it so much clearer....but most of us are so busy with our own stuff that we forget whats happening around us. dont get me wrong. even living here in cambodia i cant seem to find that balance...so i know its just so much harder when surrounded by the greed and consuming cravings of the west.
i cant say that ive arrived at an answer. but ive been mulling over an idea which i hope enough people will take on board and hopefully something good can come from that. it doesnt require much really....just some initial setting up and then a slow but steady change.
ive been holding off writing about it until i have some ways of getting the idea to work properly...but after tonight..i just cant hold it in anymore. what happened tonight you ask. well. one of the many ‘what to do while in siem reap’ options is going along to a nightly performance at an orphanage. they put on a traditional khmer dancing show for free and we had heard that it was worth going along to. despite being low tourist season there was actually quite a few people there. maybe 25 or so. the place itself was very basic but had a stage and cover. so the show started with kids ranging from age 4 – 16 being dressed up in traditional khmer outfits. (think funny looking pants and tight gold tops for the girls and ugly masks for the boys). along with the dancing there was also some music being played by the kids. big wooden xylophones and drums. you’d think that something like this would make me appreciate the hard work they had put in. or make me feel all warm and fuzzy about how sweet cambodian kids are. but no. i was sitting there absolutely horrified. its six thirty on a monday night. where would your kids be at that time? just sitting down to eat their dinner? plonked infront of the tv? finishing off their assignment? in the bath ready for bed and stories? what sort of world do we live in when there are these sixty kids who every night have to perform some cultural dances in order to raise some money for rice and fish? after a long day of school and chores...they then have to get their makeup and hair done so they can perform some novelty dances for westerners who can then tick off another list on ‘Doing Cambodia’. aaaaaarrrgghh...it honestly was the last straw for me when it comes to this whole topic of kids going without just because they happened to be born into this country.
i spent a morning a couple of weeks ago handing out toys to a rural preschool. pretty pointless really since the funding to six preschools have been pulled out. why you ask. well. some generous charity who had initially set up these preschools a couple of years ago...decided that the victims of the Haiti earthquake needed the money more. so whoops! there goes six preschools in rural cambodia. or what about these kids that i keep harping on about? the kids from the village next to the salt lake. five dollars a day and all the kids from the village can get on a truck that will take them to school. im not talking big money here. $70 a day to feed an orphanage. $40 a month to pay for a preschool teacher. another $30 a month to feed the preschool kids some protein every day. and then $5 a day for the salt village kids to go to school. of course i could go on and on with other places that also need money. point being though...that they arent huge amounts...BUT...every place that i talk to...they all say the same thing. getting sponsors at the moment is pretty much impossible. global financial crisis? too much paperwork? too many charities competing for attention? who knows. thing is. its actually not big bucks thats needed. its small change. money that for most of us just trickles away on a daily basis for those of us that live in the west.
so here is my suggestion. (and thanks to those of you that have kept reading until this point)...
since the topic is kids. lets at this stage limit this to those of you that have some connection to a daycare center, preschool or school. you take this idea to the person who is in charge of the institution. if you think it will help im happy to provide you with photos and stories to help paint a better picture. ask them if they feel like they can get involved. all thats needed is a letter in the newsletter explaining the idea. how as a school they want to have more of an outward focus...teaching the kids about those less fortunate blah blah blah. then asking the parents of the children if they would be willing to commit to donating two dollars a month. TWO DOLLARS A MONTH!! ridiculous amount i know. but the thing is.. if lets say 300 kids get involved...thats $600 a month!!! a HUGE amount over in this part of the world. no one needs to be dancing for their rice if that money was coming into an orphanage every month from a few different schools. the key is that the money gets automatically taken out of the school fees...so that no one needs to get chased across the school yard with a tin. i have thought about this idea for about a month now. my friend emma came up with it by the way. and i cant see any holes in it. of course emma thought it would be great for her school in sydney. while i lie awake at night picturing talking to the head of the education department in australia about taking this concept to every single school. and of course then there is the rest of the western world to think about as well. anyways...before i give away too many secrets to what i think about before i fall asleep at night – let me just say this. if any of this has rung a bell with you. and you think that yes...thats something you can suggest to the place your kids spend a lot of their time. then please contact me about how to take it from here. im more than happy to help with whatever you think you might need to get the school to capture the dream so to speak.
back to the show tonight. not sure how many of you have had your kids take part in school production before. but if you have you would be familiar with the tired kids from days of practising routines. how after three nights of having to have the right outfits ready...and the makeup put on and all the other little things that go along with the tortu...i mean performance, you are just so grateful that its another year until the next one. well. now try to picture these kids doing these performances every night. some nights in the city...then they swap with the other group and go into the country side for a few nights. night after night. just after dinner. just that time when kids just want to zone out and do nothing. oh man. as i sat there with my kids around me. i was again reminded of how incredibly luxurious our life is. my four kids are completely cared for. they lack nothing. (except possibly a few clean pairs of underwear). i dont want to take it for granted. and i definately dont want them to grow up thinking that what we have is universal. cause it really isnt. we are a minority. a very very lucky minority.
weve had a good time up here. its a very different feel to where we live. in fact, a whole different dimension of cambodia that we arent used to. the city swarms with tourists. the guest houses dont really need to do much in order to get many visitors. and lo and behold there is actually a night life. its been fun to do novelty touristy things – and having people trying to figure out how we all fit together. one suggestion was that we are a very nice family who have adopted four cambodian orphans. another that we have four cambodian servants.
after six days of playing tourists, grandma had to head back to sweden....and steve had to head back to australia to earn some much needed money so that we can keep doing what we are doing over here. he’s committed to a six month contract as an engineer for Holden car company in adelaide. i decided that i wasnt ready to face Kampot yet minus steve...and wanted to spend a few more days in Siem Reap. so Any and her little gang headed off on a bus at the same time as steve...and we moved into a different guest house so we could be closer to some new friends. i think the bugs waited about 20min after everyone left on the bus and then decided to show their ugly little faces. in the few days in cambodia as a single mum my kids have had a long list of ailments that i wont bore you with – but lets just say that i need to buy quite a few more undies for the kids...and stock up on pain killers.
thing is...with all this stuff....as in...the parenting and looking after kids stuff....i really just cant get over how absolutely spoiled we are. ive been thinking about this for a while now. been trying to get my thoughts out so that i can make some sense of it all. this crazy reality of some of us having way too much while others dont even have the basics. how with a little bit of perspective we would see it so much clearer....but most of us are so busy with our own stuff that we forget whats happening around us. dont get me wrong. even living here in cambodia i cant seem to find that balance...so i know its just so much harder when surrounded by the greed and consuming cravings of the west.
i cant say that ive arrived at an answer. but ive been mulling over an idea which i hope enough people will take on board and hopefully something good can come from that. it doesnt require much really....just some initial setting up and then a slow but steady change.
ive been holding off writing about it until i have some ways of getting the idea to work properly...but after tonight..i just cant hold it in anymore. what happened tonight you ask. well. one of the many ‘what to do while in siem reap’ options is going along to a nightly performance at an orphanage. they put on a traditional khmer dancing show for free and we had heard that it was worth going along to. despite being low tourist season there was actually quite a few people there. maybe 25 or so. the place itself was very basic but had a stage and cover. so the show started with kids ranging from age 4 – 16 being dressed up in traditional khmer outfits. (think funny looking pants and tight gold tops for the girls and ugly masks for the boys). along with the dancing there was also some music being played by the kids. big wooden xylophones and drums. you’d think that something like this would make me appreciate the hard work they had put in. or make me feel all warm and fuzzy about how sweet cambodian kids are. but no. i was sitting there absolutely horrified. its six thirty on a monday night. where would your kids be at that time? just sitting down to eat their dinner? plonked infront of the tv? finishing off their assignment? in the bath ready for bed and stories? what sort of world do we live in when there are these sixty kids who every night have to perform some cultural dances in order to raise some money for rice and fish? after a long day of school and chores...they then have to get their makeup and hair done so they can perform some novelty dances for westerners who can then tick off another list on ‘Doing Cambodia’. aaaaaarrrgghh...it honestly was the last straw for me when it comes to this whole topic of kids going without just because they happened to be born into this country.
i spent a morning a couple of weeks ago handing out toys to a rural preschool. pretty pointless really since the funding to six preschools have been pulled out. why you ask. well. some generous charity who had initially set up these preschools a couple of years ago...decided that the victims of the Haiti earthquake needed the money more. so whoops! there goes six preschools in rural cambodia. or what about these kids that i keep harping on about? the kids from the village next to the salt lake. five dollars a day and all the kids from the village can get on a truck that will take them to school. im not talking big money here. $70 a day to feed an orphanage. $40 a month to pay for a preschool teacher. another $30 a month to feed the preschool kids some protein every day. and then $5 a day for the salt village kids to go to school. of course i could go on and on with other places that also need money. point being though...that they arent huge amounts...BUT...every place that i talk to...they all say the same thing. getting sponsors at the moment is pretty much impossible. global financial crisis? too much paperwork? too many charities competing for attention? who knows. thing is. its actually not big bucks thats needed. its small change. money that for most of us just trickles away on a daily basis for those of us that live in the west.
so here is my suggestion. (and thanks to those of you that have kept reading until this point)...
since the topic is kids. lets at this stage limit this to those of you that have some connection to a daycare center, preschool or school. you take this idea to the person who is in charge of the institution. if you think it will help im happy to provide you with photos and stories to help paint a better picture. ask them if they feel like they can get involved. all thats needed is a letter in the newsletter explaining the idea. how as a school they want to have more of an outward focus...teaching the kids about those less fortunate blah blah blah. then asking the parents of the children if they would be willing to commit to donating two dollars a month. TWO DOLLARS A MONTH!! ridiculous amount i know. but the thing is.. if lets say 300 kids get involved...thats $600 a month!!! a HUGE amount over in this part of the world. no one needs to be dancing for their rice if that money was coming into an orphanage every month from a few different schools. the key is that the money gets automatically taken out of the school fees...so that no one needs to get chased across the school yard with a tin. i have thought about this idea for about a month now. my friend emma came up with it by the way. and i cant see any holes in it. of course emma thought it would be great for her school in sydney. while i lie awake at night picturing talking to the head of the education department in australia about taking this concept to every single school. and of course then there is the rest of the western world to think about as well. anyways...before i give away too many secrets to what i think about before i fall asleep at night – let me just say this. if any of this has rung a bell with you. and you think that yes...thats something you can suggest to the place your kids spend a lot of their time. then please contact me about how to take it from here. im more than happy to help with whatever you think you might need to get the school to capture the dream so to speak.
back to the show tonight. not sure how many of you have had your kids take part in school production before. but if you have you would be familiar with the tired kids from days of practising routines. how after three nights of having to have the right outfits ready...and the makeup put on and all the other little things that go along with the tortu...i mean performance, you are just so grateful that its another year until the next one. well. now try to picture these kids doing these performances every night. some nights in the city...then they swap with the other group and go into the country side for a few nights. night after night. just after dinner. just that time when kids just want to zone out and do nothing. oh man. as i sat there with my kids around me. i was again reminded of how incredibly luxurious our life is. my four kids are completely cared for. they lack nothing. (except possibly a few clean pairs of underwear). i dont want to take it for granted. and i definately dont want them to grow up thinking that what we have is universal. cause it really isnt. we are a minority. a very very lucky minority.
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