Confessions of a western woman

 i dont know about you.   but i find it really hard to belive in things that i cant see.  things like God, love and pelvic floor muscles...they are all pretty much out of my depth. 

not just that...but i also have this thing about letting really important things fade as my domestic duties get in the way.  i can have my heart strings being tugged at by something really profound and be determined to do something about it...but it only takes being stuck in traffic for too long...or my kids kicking up a stink...and before i know it...the moment is gone and my good intentions have pretty much vanished.  much like my pelvic floor muscles come to think of it.

you would think that by living in cambodia i could keep life in perspective. that i could balance my needs with my wants and so on.  that i would turn a blind eye to the things that sparkle or tickle my fancy.  not so. 

this is why when i write about needs  in cambodia i know how hard it is for you to take that moment to really let it sink in and see that there is really a completely different reality out there.  there is a country that is actually not so far away (keeping the universe as our backdrop) – with so so many needs that can actually be solved by not so many people taking part.  as westerners we have pretty much been brainwashed that the problems ‘out there’ are too big.  images of kids with a small bowl of rice...or young women bending over in the rice paddies...get glossed over.  weird thing is...i do the same thing.  despite actually living amongst people who go hungry at night...and pass rice fields with young & old women standing knee high in water – doing back breaking work for 12 hours a day...its STILL hard for me to truly connect to it.

when i tell you about the way you can help out with some pretty amazing things in cambodia...i often feel as if im forcing my experiences and values on to you.  a very loud voice in me tells me to hold back.  to find another way of getting people to help.  that i should let people just get on what they are doing.

if i actually take a moment and look around at the people i know..pretty much everyone i know....give or take a few duds...everyone is busy doing really great stuff.  being available to friends. making earth friendly choices.  making, birthing or raising kids.  trying to keep their marriages together.  technically they are already doing enough.  who am i to suggest that there is actually more that can be done?? 

i think when it boils down to it.  the main thing is this.  since i moved to cambodia ive really really understood that it takes VERY little to make some really big changes over there.  because of an update like this..not long ago i might add...a family who were squatting illegally in a mudpit...now own land and have a proper house.  with their own rainwater tank....and two lights!  there is also a little boy who had such twisted legs that his feet were hitting him in the face and was about to be dumped in an orphanage – who can now WALK and is completely transformed.  he is now a beaming, loving and cheeky boy and his aggression and anger a faded memory.   if i had listened to that loud voice...those things would have never happened. 

so with that in mind.  im again letting you know about something that you can get involved in. 

ive mentioned them before...and i will mention them again.  the family that helped the boy who couldnt walk are called the Hims.  (i  think of them as the Hymns  - since i like to sing their praises (nothing like a bit of christian humour to keep you reading).)

so this family...went from having six kids of their own.  the youngest two being adopted with severe disabilites.  (they went from being unable to even sit up at age three, deaf and could only scream as a way of communicating to two beaming kids who spend their time riding their bikes, running around with the rest of the kids...talking and listening...and even writing their own names.) to helping this twelve year old boy learn to walk after lots of surgery on his legs. 

and now that the word has spread....there are TWELVE more children who come everyday to their home waiting for their ‘miracle cure’.  this miracle cure is of course what we in the west would call ‘physical therapy’.  Essentially similar to the therapy given to stroke victims who have to be taught to use non-functioning limbs again etc… it’s something completely unheard of in rural cambodia.  they spend hours showing the parents what they need to do in order to help their child.  then spend a few hours every day doing all the painful exercises.

i spent about 30 minutes in their home and was absolutely gobsmacked by the devotion and care.   its pretty hard to put into words what its like to see a boy the same age as my son.  crawling around a room with a big grin on his face....and being told that when he arrived 3 months earlier he wasnt able to move at all...and had never shown any signs of being able to communicate.  his parents had been told that he was cursed from a previous life and best thing they could do was put in the back of the house and wait for him to die.   (heart breaking...)

so.  where is all this going you ask.  (and yes i could go on and on about the stories from this place)  since this family is so ridiculously humble...and lets face it...busy beyond words....ive taken it upon myself to spread the word for them.  theyve gone from being a family of six and being busy with their own stuff...to all of a sudden running a thriving therapy place....with absolutely no warning. 

so below is a list of current needs.  the idea is that you read through it...say to yourself...”hey..thats not so hard..i can actually do that”  and then either transfer a bit of money across or buy some of the things that are very much needed and either mail it over to us....or have me bring them back with my very empty suitcases.   if you think that your few coins wont do much.  then think again.  and if you STILL think that your few coins wont do much...then find some friends or workmates...or neighbours...and get them to join in. 

so here is the list...actually...here is the email from jennifer herself...and THEN the abbreviated list....

Anyway, what do we need? Well a tangible thing we need is money to make a large wooden slide for children who can not yet move across the floor on their bellies.  We have a small one, but we need a much bigger one now as we have to twelve year olds, both of whom can neither crawl or army crawl.  We need bungy chords to make a piece of equipment that we call The Spider, which allows children to bounce up and down and do air somersaults to learn balance and coordination.  We could use craft supplies like pony beads, felt or foam shapes, glass beads (for Da as he is gtting quite good at making necklaces and we might try helping him sell some), and any other craft supplies and projects for children age 4-6 to develop hand/eye coordination.  We could use educational toys for 2-5 years that involve alot of hand/ eye coordination for those children with hand problems like our Sara. We could use tiny posterior walkers for toddlers (Tikes) that can fold up. We could also use money to make a little swimming pool as water therapy is great for kids with cerebral palsy.  I will list those things and their estimated supplies:

1. Big wooden slide ($180)

2. 8 Bungy chords (4-5 feet long each, have to be bought in another country

    as I can not find bungy chords here.  I have no idea about the price.)

3.  Craft supplies/projects (13 children) from another country

4.  Educational toys for hand/eye coordination (can come from another country used or can be bought in Phnom Penh...expensive)

5.  Posterior walkers new or used for children age 2-5 (Tykes) (These have to come from another country as there are none in Cambodia or even Thailand.  I bought a cheap one online for $120, but it never arrived in the mail.  Most are 5 to 10 times that price!  Maybe $300-$500)

6.  Swimming Pool $500

so the short list:

1. big wooden slide  - $180
2. 8 bungy chords (4-5feet long each)
3. craft supplies
4. educational toys (best option with this is having me buy them in cambodia since they tend to weigh a lot – so instead of spending your money on shipping...i can use that money to buy whats needed.
5. swimming pool - $500   (what jennifer failed to mention is that the swimming pool is crucial for their therapy since it helps the children warm and loosen their joints before each session.  at the moment they are using heated tea towels for each child which is not just time consuming...but also not very effective.)

with christmas coming up pretty soon...you might want to try to get your workplace or school to buy one of these things instead of the usual gift swap. 

with that my friends...i will slip back into my corner and hope that none of you feel like I’m pestering you.