when steve left for australia a couple of weeks ago i
decided that my only option of staying sane was choosing to be grateful about the situation and not to complain about the reality of single motherhood in cambodia. there was such a high risk of me just curling into a foetal position and starting to smoke mosquito coils for escape – that i really needed to make a definate choice about how to approach it all.
youd think that my attitude would earn me some brownie points with the cosmos....that saints who have gone before me would shower me with blessings...or at least some fairy dust. but no. let me warn you...that assumption is incorrect. the showers we have had since steve left have been of the germ variety. initially a nasty gastro bug that i mentioned in a previous post. this gastro bug decided to join us on our travels from siem reap down to phnom penh and even down to our home in kampot. i had high hopes that being home would snap us all back to health and we could all start focusing on saving the world again.
but no, after a whirlwind week of raising enough money to build a waterproof house for one of my sewing ladies (also a previous update) i had to admit defeat in the toilet department and get my two little girls to a doctor in the capital. they were both having high fevers by this stage and i just didnt want to risk another dehydration scenario.
so back we went to phnom penh. me and the four kids. waving goodbye to the ladies...snapping some photos of the now destroyed shack.
after the three hour taxi ride we arrived at the doctors. and this is where the story becomes somewhat hard to believe. BUT...i assure you this is no lie. within 10 seconds of the doctor asking if there is any chance we can provide a stool sample by the next morning...LO AND BEHOLD...my youngest daughter manages to provide him right then and there with the perfect sample. but wait...there is more! her mother...who has superhuman powers...manages to grab a sample jar in the heat of the moment and somehow collect the evidence without a single trace on the outside of the jar. (by far my most proud moment of my 12 years of motherhood.) 40 minutes later we are told that parasites and bacteria have been cohabiting with our youngest daughters...and yes...antibiotics are very much needed.
in the tuk tuk ride to the guest house i decide that instead of going straight back to kampot the next day...we should just hang around a bit and make sure that everyone is kosher. thing is....phnom penh and my kids is a really bad match. there is only so much staring at a screen that my kids can handle without them becoming part demon. so after four days i book the taxi back to kampot to collect us late this morning. its time to leave disney channel where it belongs and head back to our village.
but wait...surely life cant be that straight forward? youre right. its not. because by now i have two girls coughing through the night...this time my ten year old and my four year old. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! not just any old coughing....but that ‘lets see if i can get rid of a vital organ’ type coughing. so off we go to the doctors again. somewhat disappointed that we dont have an aussie doctor. this disappointed lasts about .3 of a second...when i find out that south american doctors are what i have been missing my whole life. so tender and gentle with the girls. saying how they remind him of his own daughter who is now all grown up. somewhat different to dr.australia who managed to hide the fact that he had any previous contact with small humans (and possible any type of human). so dr.south america (all those countries are pretty much the same no?) announces that my two daughters have tonsilitus. groan! i know all about tonsilitus (yet another previous post). he heard me murmur something under my breath and said in his oh so lovely latino accent. “why dont i check the mother as well...just to make sure.” and what do you know? my tonsils are inflamed as well.
so back in the tuk tuk we go. cancelling the taxi trip back. and return to the cel...i mean, room. its at this moment (with disney blaring in the background) that the spirit of earthmamma rises within me (where the hell has she been lately??) and i practically wail to the universe....”these children need some sun. they need a garden. they need some HOME COOKING!!!” the dark guest house room just got that bit darker as i frantically texted friends to see if anyone knew of anyone who might have an empty place for us to crash in for a few days. i had practically just pressed the button as Earthmamma tapped me on my shoulder and in that oh so smug way...reminded me that it is infact moments like these that you drag out your travel insurance policy....dust if off...and ROAR!!!!
lets just say. a few phonecalls later we were back in the tuktuk...on our way to the promised land. i did the mandatory whinge at the front desk of having to pay for an extra ‘free’ breakfast for one of the kids. despite having a very clear voice in my head saying “save your energy....youre not even paying for any of it.”
the hotel is impressive to say the least. carpet!!? a POOL??? and whats this weird thing in the bathroom??? oh kids...thats a blowdryer! they all had to have a turn.
the mood lifted (and by that i mean levi didnt mention death and his little sisters in the same sentence for at least five minutes). we had a swim. we had another blow dry. and then....without any warning about what we were about to encounter....entered the nightly BUFFET!! words cannot explain the wonders that lay before us. it was seriously a classic case of country mouse & city mouse. (only without the cat). we walked around in total awe. surely there was a mistake. surely this meal was for some visiting royal family - and most of their countrymen. platters after platter of beautifully presented seafood, roasts, cheeses, more seafood...and then station after station of international options. lets just say we gave the sushi masters a workout! so fascinating to see how different nations can make such diverse and inspiring food. (hmmm...maybe the U.S, australia and england get to have their own special night to display their creations) i think we actually spent more time talking about how crazy it was than actually eating. levi and neshica doing a running commentary on presentation, taste and texture. (guess who got hooked on Masterchef while in australia?)
we got back to our room. (no kids...you dont need to blow dry your hair again.) ocea entered some altered state and just couldnt stop laughing. she laughed and laughed and laughed until she finally wrapped herself in her blanket and conked out. (i swear someone is going to make a fortune on her one day. get your kid started on psychological research now and they will lack for nothing i tell you!!)
the rest of us got ready for bed. but it took ages for anyone to fall asleep since Time was coughing worse than a first time smoker. on and on it went. the coughing eventually settling somewhat but then this otrocious noise coming out of her instead. levi gave me one of his looks. and i called the doctor. ive looked after kids with breathing problems enough to know that you dont mess with this stuff. oxygen is good. struggling for air is not. (if you happen to be married to me - please reread that last bit a few times).
poor levi was left in charge. (only hours after telling me he has a very small comfort zone). thankfully he chose to be brave and i wrapped Time in her beloved blanket and headed off meet the tuktuk driver the front desk had organised for me. not only is Time quite cold in the face, but her heart is beating really rapidly. thankfully the streets are almost free of any traffic so we can ride without any interuptions. not sure if you had one of those puzzles as a kid. showing a city scene during the day. and then the same city scene at night. i used to love that. the nightwalker on the roof was always my favorite. well, phnom penh is equally fascinating. same roads and buildings. but a whole different world. by now Time is awake and taking it all in. it looks beautiful. so many lights. sadly also so many red lights. businesses that look neutral in daylight... now satisfy their night customers under the glow of red lights. i think of the young girls inside. and wrap my daughters blanket that little bit tighter around her.
the tuktuk stops. were at the river. were at the RIVER??? excuse me driver!! why do you stop?? and why are we at the river?? oh lady. you call doctor. you ask him where to go. WHAT???? you DONT know where the clinic is????????? i know. you ask doctor. oh man. if i could only describe the rage right now. this driver who has been asked by the hotel to take their guest and her sick daughter to the clinic....AFTER saying he of course knows where it is....now is at the riverside wanting me to call the doctor for directions!!! in my white rage i spot a western man stopping to watch this scene unfold. western woman. sick daughter wrapped in blanket in her arms. in a tuktuk. at midnight. on the riverside. with a tuktuk driver wearing the most blank face you could possibly produce under the circumstances. i yell the only thing i can possibly muster up in khmer. “OT LAO” which is: “no good” – (i told you my year in cambodia hasnt taken me far down the linguistic path) i there and then promise myself i will book into khmer classes asap. Cambodian Swear Words 101!! oh if i could only say the words i want to say! instead i swoop out of the tuktuk. the blanket like a mantle in the air. western man still watching it all. a intuitive passing tuktuk driver slows down and maneuvers his chariot right behind fuckface’s tuktuk. at this point i dont even care about the clinic. i just want to get away from the scene before i do some serious damage to a very blank face. i then hear the words. “you no pay me lady”. so i roar with all my might. “I PAY YOU NOOOOOTHING!!!” which my new driver thankfully interprets as “get my daughter to the doctor right now!!!” the western man gives me a humoured look before walking off (lets assume his midnight riverside visit had nothing to do with red lights)...and im trying to think happy thoughts and tap into the Tree of Life.
we arrive at the doctors and im just about to step out of the tuktuk when lo and behold, who should hit the breaks!!? blankety blank face himself! you no give me money lady. you give money now. part of me wonders if he will get violent. part of me hopes he will get violent.. the Tree of Life hasnt quite kicked in yet and i am still very happy to do some serious damage to this guy. i mean really. its such a common thing. tuktuk drivers saying they know a location. then driving around 5km an hour hoping you will point them in the right direction. thats annoying when on your way to an event. and even more annoying when you have four kids with you on your way to an event. but to the doctor? at midnight? with a sick little girl???? i carry Time through the entrance and like a true colonial woman beseech the night guard to get rid of him. (no, not like that. i know Israeli , but im talking about getting him to leave.... i just dont want him waiting when i hopefully carry my daughter back out the doors a bit later).
my latino doctor (i wish there was a medical title that started with L) doesnt seem to mind in the slightest that he has been called in at midnight. he examines Time (and this is where everyone who is a parent knows what happens next) and sure enough. not ONE cough the whole 3 minutes. not one! thankfully he takes my word for it all. checks some more things. (shes fine). can see that she is paler than earlier though. that she has dark circles under her eyes. and then puts her on the nebuliser (or cloud machine as i have been known to call it) for twenty minutes. i try to do some deep breathing myself. the night nurse who by the way couldnt be lovlier is impressed by how fantastic Time is being. we chat for a bit. shes been a nurse for ten years. she earns $350 a month. “i know this sounds a lot to you miss but i work very much.” ummm. no. that doesnt. okay so yes. teachers make $40 a month. but no. that still sounds very little to me. we talk some more. she has a brother in australia. in melbourne in fact. maybe i know him. “maybe you know Crystal Palace?.....for weddings and parties”
and with that Time is finished with her visit to the doctor. she explained to me how she knows everything about this. checked the mask once she finished with it and inspected how it connected to the hose. “oh now i understand this bit”. i assume her other hospital visits that have been with engineer dad involved quite a bit of mechanical observations.
we paid yet another medical bill. got to the tuktuk (thankfully singular). were told that tuk face will come and get his money at hotel. (great. just what i need in my life. more drama). and head back to the rest of the clan. as we ride through the empty streets i see yet another red lit doorway. a young woman with high heels walks out. i dont notice anything else besides her tshirt. it says...and how i wish every young woman in her predicament would wear one of these shirts...”SHE LOVES ME NOT” brilliant. simply brilliant.
so after a big day. here i am. in our room. Time next to me in bed. coughing.
decided that my only option of staying sane was choosing to be grateful about the situation and not to complain about the reality of single motherhood in cambodia. there was such a high risk of me just curling into a foetal position and starting to smoke mosquito coils for escape – that i really needed to make a definate choice about how to approach it all.
youd think that my attitude would earn me some brownie points with the cosmos....that saints who have gone before me would shower me with blessings...or at least some fairy dust. but no. let me warn you...that assumption is incorrect. the showers we have had since steve left have been of the germ variety. initially a nasty gastro bug that i mentioned in a previous post. this gastro bug decided to join us on our travels from siem reap down to phnom penh and even down to our home in kampot. i had high hopes that being home would snap us all back to health and we could all start focusing on saving the world again.
but no, after a whirlwind week of raising enough money to build a waterproof house for one of my sewing ladies (also a previous update) i had to admit defeat in the toilet department and get my two little girls to a doctor in the capital. they were both having high fevers by this stage and i just didnt want to risk another dehydration scenario.
so back we went to phnom penh. me and the four kids. waving goodbye to the ladies...snapping some photos of the now destroyed shack.
after the three hour taxi ride we arrived at the doctors. and this is where the story becomes somewhat hard to believe. BUT...i assure you this is no lie. within 10 seconds of the doctor asking if there is any chance we can provide a stool sample by the next morning...LO AND BEHOLD...my youngest daughter manages to provide him right then and there with the perfect sample. but wait...there is more! her mother...who has superhuman powers...manages to grab a sample jar in the heat of the moment and somehow collect the evidence without a single trace on the outside of the jar. (by far my most proud moment of my 12 years of motherhood.) 40 minutes later we are told that parasites and bacteria have been cohabiting with our youngest daughters...and yes...antibiotics are very much needed.
in the tuk tuk ride to the guest house i decide that instead of going straight back to kampot the next day...we should just hang around a bit and make sure that everyone is kosher. thing is....phnom penh and my kids is a really bad match. there is only so much staring at a screen that my kids can handle without them becoming part demon. so after four days i book the taxi back to kampot to collect us late this morning. its time to leave disney channel where it belongs and head back to our village.
but wait...surely life cant be that straight forward? youre right. its not. because by now i have two girls coughing through the night...this time my ten year old and my four year old. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! not just any old coughing....but that ‘lets see if i can get rid of a vital organ’ type coughing. so off we go to the doctors again. somewhat disappointed that we dont have an aussie doctor. this disappointed lasts about .3 of a second...when i find out that south american doctors are what i have been missing my whole life. so tender and gentle with the girls. saying how they remind him of his own daughter who is now all grown up. somewhat different to dr.australia who managed to hide the fact that he had any previous contact with small humans (and possible any type of human). so dr.south america (all those countries are pretty much the same no?) announces that my two daughters have tonsilitus. groan! i know all about tonsilitus (yet another previous post). he heard me murmur something under my breath and said in his oh so lovely latino accent. “why dont i check the mother as well...just to make sure.” and what do you know? my tonsils are inflamed as well.
so back in the tuk tuk we go. cancelling the taxi trip back. and return to the cel...i mean, room. its at this moment (with disney blaring in the background) that the spirit of earthmamma rises within me (where the hell has she been lately??) and i practically wail to the universe....”these children need some sun. they need a garden. they need some HOME COOKING!!!” the dark guest house room just got that bit darker as i frantically texted friends to see if anyone knew of anyone who might have an empty place for us to crash in for a few days. i had practically just pressed the button as Earthmamma tapped me on my shoulder and in that oh so smug way...reminded me that it is infact moments like these that you drag out your travel insurance policy....dust if off...and ROAR!!!!
lets just say. a few phonecalls later we were back in the tuktuk...on our way to the promised land. i did the mandatory whinge at the front desk of having to pay for an extra ‘free’ breakfast for one of the kids. despite having a very clear voice in my head saying “save your energy....youre not even paying for any of it.”
the hotel is impressive to say the least. carpet!!? a POOL??? and whats this weird thing in the bathroom??? oh kids...thats a blowdryer! they all had to have a turn.
the mood lifted (and by that i mean levi didnt mention death and his little sisters in the same sentence for at least five minutes). we had a swim. we had another blow dry. and then....without any warning about what we were about to encounter....entered the nightly BUFFET!! words cannot explain the wonders that lay before us. it was seriously a classic case of country mouse & city mouse. (only without the cat). we walked around in total awe. surely there was a mistake. surely this meal was for some visiting royal family - and most of their countrymen. platters after platter of beautifully presented seafood, roasts, cheeses, more seafood...and then station after station of international options. lets just say we gave the sushi masters a workout! so fascinating to see how different nations can make such diverse and inspiring food. (hmmm...maybe the U.S, australia and england get to have their own special night to display their creations) i think we actually spent more time talking about how crazy it was than actually eating. levi and neshica doing a running commentary on presentation, taste and texture. (guess who got hooked on Masterchef while in australia?)
we got back to our room. (no kids...you dont need to blow dry your hair again.) ocea entered some altered state and just couldnt stop laughing. she laughed and laughed and laughed until she finally wrapped herself in her blanket and conked out. (i swear someone is going to make a fortune on her one day. get your kid started on psychological research now and they will lack for nothing i tell you!!)
the rest of us got ready for bed. but it took ages for anyone to fall asleep since Time was coughing worse than a first time smoker. on and on it went. the coughing eventually settling somewhat but then this otrocious noise coming out of her instead. levi gave me one of his looks. and i called the doctor. ive looked after kids with breathing problems enough to know that you dont mess with this stuff. oxygen is good. struggling for air is not. (if you happen to be married to me - please reread that last bit a few times).
poor levi was left in charge. (only hours after telling me he has a very small comfort zone). thankfully he chose to be brave and i wrapped Time in her beloved blanket and headed off meet the tuktuk driver the front desk had organised for me. not only is Time quite cold in the face, but her heart is beating really rapidly. thankfully the streets are almost free of any traffic so we can ride without any interuptions. not sure if you had one of those puzzles as a kid. showing a city scene during the day. and then the same city scene at night. i used to love that. the nightwalker on the roof was always my favorite. well, phnom penh is equally fascinating. same roads and buildings. but a whole different world. by now Time is awake and taking it all in. it looks beautiful. so many lights. sadly also so many red lights. businesses that look neutral in daylight... now satisfy their night customers under the glow of red lights. i think of the young girls inside. and wrap my daughters blanket that little bit tighter around her.
the tuktuk stops. were at the river. were at the RIVER??? excuse me driver!! why do you stop?? and why are we at the river?? oh lady. you call doctor. you ask him where to go. WHAT???? you DONT know where the clinic is????????? i know. you ask doctor. oh man. if i could only describe the rage right now. this driver who has been asked by the hotel to take their guest and her sick daughter to the clinic....AFTER saying he of course knows where it is....now is at the riverside wanting me to call the doctor for directions!!! in my white rage i spot a western man stopping to watch this scene unfold. western woman. sick daughter wrapped in blanket in her arms. in a tuktuk. at midnight. on the riverside. with a tuktuk driver wearing the most blank face you could possibly produce under the circumstances. i yell the only thing i can possibly muster up in khmer. “OT LAO” which is: “no good” – (i told you my year in cambodia hasnt taken me far down the linguistic path) i there and then promise myself i will book into khmer classes asap. Cambodian Swear Words 101!! oh if i could only say the words i want to say! instead i swoop out of the tuktuk. the blanket like a mantle in the air. western man still watching it all. a intuitive passing tuktuk driver slows down and maneuvers his chariot right behind fuckface’s tuktuk. at this point i dont even care about the clinic. i just want to get away from the scene before i do some serious damage to a very blank face. i then hear the words. “you no pay me lady”. so i roar with all my might. “I PAY YOU NOOOOOTHING!!!” which my new driver thankfully interprets as “get my daughter to the doctor right now!!!” the western man gives me a humoured look before walking off (lets assume his midnight riverside visit had nothing to do with red lights)...and im trying to think happy thoughts and tap into the Tree of Life.
we arrive at the doctors and im just about to step out of the tuktuk when lo and behold, who should hit the breaks!!? blankety blank face himself! you no give me money lady. you give money now. part of me wonders if he will get violent. part of me hopes he will get violent.. the Tree of Life hasnt quite kicked in yet and i am still very happy to do some serious damage to this guy. i mean really. its such a common thing. tuktuk drivers saying they know a location. then driving around 5km an hour hoping you will point them in the right direction. thats annoying when on your way to an event. and even more annoying when you have four kids with you on your way to an event. but to the doctor? at midnight? with a sick little girl???? i carry Time through the entrance and like a true colonial woman beseech the night guard to get rid of him. (no, not like that. i know Israeli , but im talking about getting him to leave.... i just dont want him waiting when i hopefully carry my daughter back out the doors a bit later).
my latino doctor (i wish there was a medical title that started with L) doesnt seem to mind in the slightest that he has been called in at midnight. he examines Time (and this is where everyone who is a parent knows what happens next) and sure enough. not ONE cough the whole 3 minutes. not one! thankfully he takes my word for it all. checks some more things. (shes fine). can see that she is paler than earlier though. that she has dark circles under her eyes. and then puts her on the nebuliser (or cloud machine as i have been known to call it) for twenty minutes. i try to do some deep breathing myself. the night nurse who by the way couldnt be lovlier is impressed by how fantastic Time is being. we chat for a bit. shes been a nurse for ten years. she earns $350 a month. “i know this sounds a lot to you miss but i work very much.” ummm. no. that doesnt. okay so yes. teachers make $40 a month. but no. that still sounds very little to me. we talk some more. she has a brother in australia. in melbourne in fact. maybe i know him. “maybe you know Crystal Palace?.....for weddings and parties”
and with that Time is finished with her visit to the doctor. she explained to me how she knows everything about this. checked the mask once she finished with it and inspected how it connected to the hose. “oh now i understand this bit”. i assume her other hospital visits that have been with engineer dad involved quite a bit of mechanical observations.
we paid yet another medical bill. got to the tuktuk (thankfully singular). were told that tuk face will come and get his money at hotel. (great. just what i need in my life. more drama). and head back to the rest of the clan. as we ride through the empty streets i see yet another red lit doorway. a young woman with high heels walks out. i dont notice anything else besides her tshirt. it says...and how i wish every young woman in her predicament would wear one of these shirts...”SHE LOVES ME NOT” brilliant. simply brilliant.
so after a big day. here i am. in our room. Time next to me in bed. coughing.
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